He has fallen out of the bed twice (once a piece of furniture broke his fall and it also broke) and has fallen in the bathroom (supposedly an assisted fall with a respite caregiver) where he cut his head. He has had a few other falls in the distant past and he's just fortunate that he hasn't broken a bone or worse. My husband and I actually sleep in the same bedroom with him at night but he will wander into the bathroom by himself, citing that the alarm makes too much noise and he doesn't want to wake us up. From experience with my husband's parents (and general knowledge), we know that it is just a matter of time before he has a more serious fall if he continues to refuse assistance from home safety tools available to him and from us. We'll ask hospice for the alarm step pad but he will probably reject that too. He does accept help during the day and has moderate cognitive impairment, which can complicate the matter. He willingly uses his walker. His reasoning is that he does seat exercises a few times a day so is building enough strength to avoid needing help!
My FIL is in AL , insists on using his walker when self propelling in a wheelchair would be much safer , he is very unsteady and has a lot of trouble getting up from a chair. He refuses, He "will not give up walking". We've accepted that a big fall is coming. We can only do so much.
I would caution you from sleeping in his room as this doesn't sound healthy for you or your husband, even though you have the best of intentions. And, it depends on the size of the bedroom. I wonder if a night caregiver would be better? So you and your husband can get a good night's sleep. You cannot run on empty. - Gena
Best of luck to you.
I don’t think it’s easy sharing a bedroom. What about a night light so he can see and strategically placed furniture for him to hold? (We put 36” planters on the stoop to get down one step and it worked like a charm).
He may / likely will express some 'dismay' about changes.
Take them in stride.
Do not let his reactions surprise you nor change your position.
YOU need to take control of this situation.
(As)
He cannot.
Of course 'most' people resist support as they need more support.
They feel embarrassed and fearful of losing their independence.
Be loving (as you are) and compassionate - and hold your ground.
And, lastly ... 'never ever argue' with him. Instead, respond "Yes, I understand how you feel" and change the subject. He will want to get his way and keep you engaged. Do not allow this to escalate. It will only (further) upset him, and you.
Gena / Touch Matters
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