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We hired a new caregiver for my mother-in-law two weeks ago. The caregiver comes for 4 hours/ day. For the first hour, MIL is in a pleasant mood, but when the caregiver tries to help or engage in some type of activity such as taking a walk outside, MIL refuses help. She even hit the caregiver with her quad cane. Mother-in-law has never had a caregiver that was outside of family. I have been her primary caregiver, but I have been stressed with all the verbal and emotional abuse from this woman.

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Might be time to place her in a home, you are not qualified to deal with her, accept that and do what is best for you & her both, she needs more care than you can give her.
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Medication. It becomes necessary with violent dementia patients. Once they start attacking people, there’s no other choice. Sad, but it’s good that there are medicines to control behavior that could result in injury or death to themselves or other.
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A caregiver isn’t going to tolerate being hit for long at all. Sounds like another plan may be needed if this one doesn’t get better soon.
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I would not worry about it especially if MIL is paying for it, which she should be. This is your time to get away. Tell the aide to ask but not to press the issue. If MIL does not want help, again do not press the issue. Maybe as time goes on she will get used to the aide being there. If the aide makes her lunch and she doesn't eat it, oh well. You treat MIL just like u would treat one of your children.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-the-stress-of-caregiving-for-a-mother-in-law-who-has-become-more-difficult-as-she-476341.htm

This was your first post in August. It was suggested in that post to have MIL placed. Its getting too much for you and as time passes, her Dementia will worsen. Her hitting the aide with her cane is not good. She should be checked for a UTI. If she continues to hit, she needs medication. If she cannot afford a nice Memory Care (she is beyond an Asst Living) then apply for Medicaid.
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If your MIL is hitting people, you need to call 911 and have her transported to the ER for evaluation.

Once she is there, I would refuse to pick her up. This is someone who requires more, and more professional care than can be given in your home.
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