What should I do next, after putting husband in a home?

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What should I do next, after putting husband in a home?

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MYmares....I feel so bad for you. And I sure understand. Reading your comment, I thought it was me who had written some of that.
I think I was able to lift him (he fell out of bed a couple time, in the bathroom once) because of the job I had until a year ago. It involved lifting, moving heavy boxes. Some were up to 70 pounds. But as I said, it got harder to do...we all age.
Again, thank you so much for your comments, support, suggestions. Yesterday I treated myself to a pedicure, first time EVAH! And spent 4 hours with a GOOD true friend. Was nice to take my mind elsewhere, other than The Home. Again, thank you all.

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Way to go Meatjeanne!! Glad you had some "me" time yesterday. You deserve it!

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Thanks blannie...I think a couple weeks I posted on Facebook about having a 'Me Day' and that was when the friend/exfriend now posted about pity parties. Hahaha! I don't have anything to do with the person anymore.

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Jeanne, those are not true friends. You did the right thing, don't feel guilty about anything you have done. Go ahead and cry, it really helps a lot and go on with your plans. Lots of hugs for you.

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You are a very strong person. I admire you for all that you have done for your husband. Alzheimer's is horrendous, my mom has it and I know a little of what you have experienced. As for now, I would suggest finding a support group. You can call the Alzheimer's Association 1-800-272-3900 and they can give you local information. Caregiver support also comes from Leeza's Place. It is very important for you to get support now. Please do not slip into the guilt and rack yourself for not keeping him at home. You did as much as you could and deserve many hugs and "atta-girls" for doing so. Please. Get Caregiver Support ASAP, It is important for you to believe you did everything possible for him. Time for you now.

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It's hard enough coping with this for a parent. I can't imagine dealing with a spouse in this condition. It's got to be so much harder for you. Mom is in a dementia lock down unit, but there are other patients there whose spouses are still well and living. Some of them live in the independent apartment onsite or the assisted living apartments. That way they can just hop on the elevator and visit. Your facility should have information about support groups so that you can talk to others in your area that are going through the same thing.

Definately contact the VA. Check out veteranaid.org. Their goal is to make sure veterans get the benefits they are qualified for. "The A&A Pension can provide up to $1,758 per month to a veteran, $1,130 per month to a surviving spouse, or $2,085 per month to a couple*." This is a reimbursement program. For instance, my mom has over $4,000 a month in medical expenses, including premiums, medicine and dementia care. So, she qualifies for the maximum spouse reimbursement of $1,130 a month.

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Mymares, I'm sending positive energy and prayers your way. You WILL get through this and finally understand there is no going back only marching forward as best we can and find happiness in the little things in life. I rarely go anywhere so I find things around the house to do that make me happy. I am feeling for you not having your BFF by your side. Please, know you have an honestly, loving support group here. Hugs.

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meatjeanne, I'm thrilled you went out and got some "ME" time. Whom ever that person was that said one word about a pity party, well, there time is a comin'. Rock on, strong woman.

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Thank you dirtydimensia01... There is so much more support here than from family members.. I will get to visit my husband next Friday.. They have a caregiver support group meeting at the VA CLC (nursing home) the last Friday of the month... I will bring some comfort things from home.. the DR wants to see how my husband reacts to me after the meeting.. If good, then I can start going more, if not, then maybe a couple more weeks.. I can also bring our dogs in the future, as one has been my husbands baby for the past 14 years.. She is also missing him and he is asking/looking for.. I was a very active outdoor person before.. Today I am getting out. I had a lot of phone calls to make yesterday, cancel appts, etc.. There was a tragic fire next street over the other night with children and the grandmother lost.. There is car wash fundraiser today, will take my car to get a much needed bath..

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Way to go , mymares. Little steps. That is what I am doing too. Today hubby looked so good, got my usual kisses, they said he is standing more and eating without help. Good day for me. I wish you the same.

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I was skyping earlier with my son in Afghanistan... I had not told him all that has been happening in the past 6 months because I did not want him distracted (even tho he is 35 ) He understands better now why his father is in a locked ward and I gave permission for him to stay.. It was a tough conversation back and forth.. He had called the VA hospital earlier (I gave permission for my sons to get all info) and he wanted to know why they admitted him, feeling his father was not that bad.. he had talked to him a few minutes here and there, which always perked my husband up and cheered him up.. So he never had spent any time with him especially the past few months to see the difference.. He has not been able to come since Thanksgiving 2012.. I am worn out now... I told him the most prevalent behaviors that made me wonder about my safety... Thankfully he understands now, but is angry with me for not telling him before... I guess I am too protective of a mother, especially with his being in a war zone..

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What should I do next, after putting husband in a home?

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