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I live in FL. My stepmother lives in Folsom, CA. She cannot or will not move to be near me. She has no other family and few friends who can help. She tells me she needs help with some daily living and housecleaning, but is nervous and reluctant to allow help in her home. She can't maintain the house any longer and will need to move to independent living with a future step up to assisted living. She also really needs someone to do medical case management for her right now. Thanks.

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Thank you both!
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Great answer, Geewiz! Yes, since it sounds like MIL has resources a Certified GCM is an excellent route. However, MIL may not agree to even that. Peggy, be careful how you present this to MIL, it often is very difficult to get the elderly to acknowledge the necessary help. Would you be willing to pay GCM? That will be a challenge to have MIL agree to paying this person. It represents a loss of independence. Maybe present the GCM as also being a friend of yours, not a lie really, you and GCM will become close.

Good luck as you begin this long road. It sure would be easier if she would agree to move near you, but as long as she is competent it is her decision. Does she have all her documents in order? Powers of Attorney and such?
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There is a service called Geriatric Care Managers that can help in this type of situation. A nurse (or team) typically runs a group. They come to the home and do an assessment. They arrange for in home help. They will also accompany the senior on doctor's visits and even report back to family. Employees are bonded (or an organization with bonding should be a criteria). While her friends can't help her (likely the same age/issues) she may be more comfortable if one is in the house when the care manager comes to assess. You may help by identifying such groups on the internet, checking with the better business bureau, etc and giving her a list or making the calls to do a phone interview and hire someone for her.

Is your step mom active in a house of worship? Sometimes other members of the congregation have used agencies thaey may be able to recommend

There are so-o many threads like this, I hope all of the posters (me included) are noting that aging may require moving --- to a different (easier) arrangement, to locations where family is closer, etc.
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