I'm needng to move my mother out of it into another place. I have been estranged from my mother and just found out about her dementia and her placement in this home. I am applying for emergency guardianship. I know of a space in a wonderful place that I want to transfer her to as soon as I get the power. It is opening up within the next 30 days and I would like my mom to get there as soon as possible so I’m just wondering what kind of notice do I need to give the hospital or assisted living facility to get her out of there. It is not a good place. She was in the hospital and there was no one advocating for her because she has dementia she has no access to her funds. She’s been declared incapacitated by a physician. So from what I can gather the hospital paid for this assisted living facility that she’s in. She’s been there for three months and I really want to get her out as soon as possible so I’m just trying to figure out what I need to do to prepare for a quick transition as soon as the space in the new place becomes available.
If she is in the hospital talk to the Social Worker and or the Discharge Planner and they can make arrangements to transfer her to the new location.
I have to ask...who was acting on her behalf previously?
I know you said no one was advocating for her but someone had to authorize any treatment that she got, someone had to access her accounts to pay for the facility, someone had to place her there. Just wondering if there is another that is acting as Guardian.
But if she's in AL already then you need to follow what the facility dictates.
Be sure she actually has the money to pay for the new place because if this becomes your financial burden you may find it unsustainable (plus it robs you of your future care funding).
If the facility is open and willing to take your mother - and if she has been deemed "incapacitated" by a physician, then an IL might not be the best choice for her - they should be able to at least guide you in how to make the transfer happen.
But I have to ask - why were you estranged from your mother? If there was a good reason, then you might want to re-think the entire guardianship idea. Once you get it, it is going to be extremely difficult to get out of it if things go sideways with you and your mother's new relationship. We will sometimes see people come into the forum regretting the decision to break an estrangement with a family member because said family member needed care and there was no one else to step in. At the very least, find out everything you can about caring for a parent with dementia, and how different facilities operate ***before*** you bite off more than you can chew. Dementia is an extremely difficult disease to manage, even under the best of circumstances and relationships. I get that she's your mom, but sometimes it really is better to take a step back and let others carry the load because it is simply too much for you to handle on your own, and there is no shame in that.
Good luck.
On this forum Assisted Living and Memory care are private pay facilities and very rare that Medicaid pays for them. I would say Mom is in Longterm care with maybe Medicaid paying. It depends on how many assets she has. You really need to find out if there is guardianship already in place.
If Mom was placed here for Rehab, Medicare is paying for her stay up to 100 days. After that its private pay.
The assisted living facilities my family were in, it said 30 days notice in the lease .
But your mother’s facility, it may be a different amount of time .
1: Why were you estranged from your mother? If it was wholely or partly because of her behavior, what are the chanced of it happening again? Would it be sensible for put the brakes on your guardianship application while you find out more?
2: Is the “wonderful place that I want to transfer her to" just opening up for the first time, or is it a vacancy that is coming up? Is she currently in hospital or in an AL facility? How much will the ‘wonderful place’ charge?
3: What are her finances? Who is paying for her now, wherever she is? If she isn’t paying, you need to know whether payments will continue. If she’s paying herself, you need to know all about her financial situation.
4: If “she’s been declared incapacitated by a physician”, are you sure that an AL place will accept her? There are limits to ‘Assistance’ in all ‘Assisted Living’ facilities.
5: Are you quite clear about the obligations that will be placed on you by ‘guardianship’? It’s not easy to back out of if it all gets hard.
6: If you can cope with notice requirements, will your mother agree to the move herself? Is so, you don’t need to “get the power” by taking on guardianship.
This is potentially a dangerous situation for you, and even for your mother if you are making wrong assumptions. It might be good to slow down while you get a handle on all the details.
Unless you are paying for your mother to stay in the new place (which is not a good idea unless you are very wealthy), you'll need to provide its staff documentation of your mother's finances to prove that she can afford to live there long-term. It sounds like you don't know what her finances are, if you don't even know who has been paying for her current facility (it would not be the hospital).
If you get guardianship, that will give you access her her finances, including the contract for where she is staying now. That contract should include how much notice you need to give. Again, be sure to have approval in writing for the new place to accept her before you give notice at the old one, even though that is likely to mean overlapping payments to both places. You'll also need to go to the bank and wherever else your mother has accounts, with your guardianship paperwork, and get access to her money, which will take some time.
If your mother's current placement is being paid by Medicaid, that's a different situation. I don't know enough about how that works, but some others here do.
It's really none of your business what the OP's relationship was about with her mother and "charging in" is not the right description of the situation because you don't know their history. You have no right to tell the OP she 'didn't care before' because you don't know that for a fact.
I had a stormy relationship with my mother all my life. I was also estranged from her for several years. When she reached out, we started communicating. I always did right by her too if she was respectful and abided my boundaries with her. When she didn't I would take a break from her.
People have the capacity to forgive and have a change of heart about things. You can have love in your heart for a person you dislike and don't get along with. The OP wants to help her mother who is not in a good place and she wants to get her into one. Everyone should be supportive of this instead of tearing her down. Even if she will financially benefit in some way, so what. It's a win-win because the mother will be getting better care in the new facility she's going to. She will also have someone (her daighter) advocating for her and that's something all people living in care facilities need.
They will tell you.
If I were you, I'd talk to whatever social worker or lawyer is handling your mother's case. Or even the administrator of the facility she's in. Once you have guardianship it's your call where she goes. Expect a huge bill from the facility she's currently in though. Even if insurance was paying them, they will still bill you. All care facilities do this. Scrutinize every bill. Just because a bill is given does not mean it's owed. Don't let anyone have access to her bank accounts either. You pay the AL bill every month from her funds not let them take it out of the account.
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