Mom passed 2 years ago. Was keeping both parents at home with dementia. No help from 2 siblings. One lives out of state. They both are financially able to help but don’t. I have used most of my savings, after I lost my job. Dads social security helps pay utilities. I do odd jobs to make ends meet but I have to find people to watch Dad while I’m gone. He still takes care of himself but has to be directed on everything, bathing,eating and what not to do. He can’t be left alone. He goes everywhere I go. I feel a nursing home would be devastating to him and he would give up. Other family members don’t understand when I mention it because he compensated well in conversations and they don’t see how it is as home. I don’t want to become bitter.
As an only child, my Mantra has always been “If they’re not there to HELP you, They’re not there to HURT you.” The fact is, you MAY have made your decisions about his care on flawed logic concerning your siblings. Don’t revisit it. that will never help anything, least of all your father.
Do an online search TODAY and see what sort of Residential care facilities are available in your area. Just knowing THAT MUCH may be helpful for YOU. Do a couple drivebys.
Start considering what may work best for you AND dad. Selling out on yourself doesn’t make you a better caregiver. Read reviews about local residential care sites.
You have received some good advice from those who have been there. Listen.
You can't make anyone else do anything. Your siblings have chosen not to be involved. You have chosen to be a martyr. If you want to continue on in that role, then keep on doing the same.
Unless your siblings won the lottery don't assume they can help out financially. I make a good living but I don't have extra to send to support someone else. Now if they are also insisting you stay with Dad and keep him out of a NH then maybe asking them to pony up some money would be acceptable.
Sometimes the correct answer to a situation is not the answer we want to hear.