i take care of my wife for 9 months now after her stroke she is very hard to get along with i went to bed last night after a very bad day and hoped that i would not wake up
Your feelings are REAL. The stress you are under are real. It’s ok to need help. It’s healthy to reach out. There is help. Caregiving for a loved one is very difficult and it is filled with emotional and physical demands. Is there anyone you can reach out to. Can you take breaks and everyday do something for YOU. This is necessary and not selfish. You can not give from a depleted well. please get help. Reach out and ask. Are there support groups in your area? Do you belong to a church? Pastor? Friends? Write out all the places and people you can reach out to. You reached out here and got some good feedback. Keep reaching !!
Wilforde, I am so sorry that you have reached the burnt-out stage of caregiving for your wife. It’s now time to take care of YOU. When anyone reaches the stage of going to sleep and hoping not to wake up is a sure sign of deep depression. Please call your PCP immediately and get an evaluation and help with your situation. Please explain your symptoms to your PCP as this is an urgent matter.
It’s time for you to place your wife in a nursing home as her caregiving has become too much for you to handle. Your wife is still so young and chances are she will live a long, long time with her stroke. Do not let this ruin YOUR life.
I am urging you to call your PCP immediately and get help. You cannot take care of your wife anymore on your own.
Please come back and update us on how you are doing.
Caregiving is a long, difficult road, and we're happy you've found the support of others here on this site. However, there are limits to what untrained members of the forum can provide for you.
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out to experts at the 24/7 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
You've already received a few excellent answers, and I'm sure other caregivers will be along shortly to provide more words of encouragement and advice. Please take care of yourself!
Please get help for yourself and for your wife. Call your local Senior Services and Area Agency on Aging to see what kind of help may be available for your wife if you're wanting to keep her at home. And if this is really just too much for you now(which it sounds like it is)then have these places help you find the best facility for your wife where you can get back to just being her husband and advocate and not her 24/7 caregiver.
And to answer your question...absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You are a human with limits as we all are. But you must take care of yourself first if you want to be any good for your wife. God bless you.
Wilforde, what you're experiencing isn't unusual for the start of caregiving. Your wife is probably cranky and depressed from her "new normal" after the strokeand you're overworked and stressed out. BarbBrooklyn gave you good advice, try bringing in aide to help with either your wife's care or to help around the house. You can't do all of the duties all of the time. I'm not going to say it's cheap, it's not, but if your wife can qualify for Medicaid, that will help immensely. Good luck, hang in there and visit with us her on the forum. We all know what you're going through.
please get help. Reach out and ask. Are there support groups in your area? Do you belong to a church? Pastor? Friends? Write out all the places and people you can reach out to.
You reached out here and got some good feedback. Keep reaching !!
It’s time for you to place your wife in a nursing home as her caregiving has become too much for you to handle. Your wife is still so young and chances are she will live a long, long time with her stroke. Do not let this ruin YOUR life.
I am urging you to call your PCP immediately and get help. You cannot take care of your wife anymore on your own.
Please come back and update us on how you are doing.
Praying for you.
Caregiving is a long, difficult road, and we're happy you've found the support of others here on this site. However, there are limits to what untrained members of the forum can provide for you.
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out to experts at the 24/7 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
You've already received a few excellent answers, and I'm sure other caregivers will be along shortly to provide more words of encouragement and advice. Please take care of yourself!
And if this is really just too much for you now(which it sounds like it is)then have these places help you find the best facility for your wife where you can get back to just being her husband and advocate and not her 24/7 caregiver.
And to answer your question...absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You are a human with limits as we all are. But you must take care of yourself first if you want to be any good for your wife.
God bless you.
It sounds like you are trying to do the work of three shifts of young people who get to go home and rest after a shift.
You sound depressed and burnt out from caregiving.
Have you explored bringing in aides to help out?
Have you considered getting your wife into respite care so that you can get some rest and treatment for your depression?
Have you talked to YOUR doctor about what's going on?