I asked a question a while back and have since been obsessed with this site. The things that everyone shares and goes through is like early lessons to my future. I am incredibly impressed with all the support everyone offers as well. With that said, here it goes:
Lately when I talk to my mom (who is 71, lives alone, full functioning) she inserts herself into EVERYTHING. Or tries to at least.
If I talk about my kids, she has to insert herself as if she’s a part of it. If I say something about my kids telling me something, she will say I know they told me and then proceed to ask me stuff to see if I know something. If I mention something my kids do, she will cut me off and talk about something similar I did when I was the kid and she was the mom going through what I’m going through. If I share something about work she changes the subject and talks about something about her career (that has been over for over 10 years).
I know shes not a narcissist but it’s very narcissistic and quite frankly annoying. I find everytime I talk to my mom lately I always get off the phone annoyed. Consequently I avoid calling her because the conversations are always about her and every minute detail she’s experiencing. Combine that with the repetitions of more minute details and I feel like we don’t connect.
To be honest, I would take the reptitions over the making everything about her. I can’t open my mouth to share ANYTHING without it turning to about HER and it’s usually in a flattering way towards herself.
Also, I find my mom lies. She will say share one of my kids shared something that I will ask about later and it’s not true. It’s often a lie that they spoke highly of her or requested something only she could provide but it didn’t happen. It’s like she’s constantly trying to prop herself up and make herself appear more important than she needs to. I wish my mom would let things stand on their own and not make it all about her. It impairs our relationship and when I try to talk about it to her, she gets quiet or defensive and denies it.