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I am a live in caregiver for a 98 year old lovely lady and I work 7 days a week, I am given 4 hours on one day and 8 hours on another day to rest. My employer refuses to give me 24 hours rest let alone 10 hours in one day. My client is prone to falls I have to hold her when walking which includes walks outside. The family refuses for her to use walkers. My client wakes up 2 to 5 times a night, she does not sit still during the day due to dementia. Meanwhile I cook, clean and do laundry while I keep an eye on her.I am so tired and told my employer I need the weekend off or any 2 days stretch and they start to cry about how they have "bent over backwards" to give me a comfortable place to live with my teenage daughter who lives with me and the client. They go to the extent of telling me I will suffer if I leave. I know the only thing to do is to leave, but I feel sorry for their mother because I am the only one she is used to. I am honestly burnt out and would like some opinions on this. I am paid $2,500 a month and I have been doing this for months going on a year.

You are legally an employee.
Find out the legal requirements that your employer must abide by.
Hire or find a pro bono attorney or law student if you need help to get what you are entitled to. All this is clearly written in the law books.

Be aware that once you ask for your legal rights, your employer may let you go. However, they should be reported to the IRS if you are not / do not get what is legally your right as an employee in this live-in employer situation. And, retroactive - meaning over the last year, you likely are entitled to much more than you have been getting. However ... if you signed a contract agreeing to what they have been paying you, that is another question whether legally binding or not, based on the law.

I researched this when wanting to get a live-in caregiver for my friend.
You have to stick up for your rights.
If you continue to do this, then you get that they decide to give you, as they have been doing.

If I were you, I would ask someone to work with you / help you figure out how many hours you've put in weekly ... how much time off you've received weekly / monthly ... put all this in writing. You need everything in writing. It sounds like you could sue or take the person paying you to court although you need all your documentation in order.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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You should be making $10,000 a month with that schedule.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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They think it is fair to pay you $3.43 an hour as they are providing “free” board and care not only for you but also your minor child.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Ditto….Department of Labor!
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Reply to Patathome01
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You need to weekends off .
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Reply to KNance72
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Also, are they paying you legal? Did you get a W2 in the spring?

As a reference we were paying $30 an hour in a low wage rural part of Maryland for adult caregiving.
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Reply to brandee
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The Dept of Labor in your state will have the guidelines.
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Reply to brandee
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Lilly2025: Seek help with the Department of Labor.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Not allowing a walker for a 98-year-old woman is elder abuse. Get one immediately.

You can look up what the law in your state says about time-off for your situation. Is your employer paying the required taxes on you as their employee? Are you receiving proper tax forms from them to use in filing your own tax return?
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Reply to MG8522
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I agree that you need to seek the help of the Dept of Labor in your area so that you can consult regarding labor laws for your area.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Please leave this situation.
You are not being paid enough. You are being paid at least HALF of what you should be getting Room and board is not part of your pay.
You are working in an unsafe environment. The fact that you are over worked with the number of hours. The fact that they will not allow the use of a walker is unsafe for both you and the client.
Check your States Department of Labor website for information and how to file a complaint.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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They are enslaving you and you are allowing it. Having been an employer for 38+ yrs, I can tell you with certainty they are breaking labor laws, regardless of what state you are in.

But...

Do you have a written contract with the family/employers? If not, there's nothing to prove you are actually "working" and they are your employers.

Are you paid in cash? Ditto. Also, this means they aren't doing withholding on paychecks like an actual employer would do. This means you aren't contributing to your SS and Medicare, which can be a big problem for you later on when you need to tap into these benefits.

You won't be able to report this family's treatment of you, either, since there's no proof you worked for them. The best thing to do is make your escape plan and do not tell them. Your small ace-in-the-hole would be implying you'll report them to APS is they neglect the elder once you leave.

As an employer, I can tell you with 100% certainty that NO employee is irreplaceable. They found you. They'll find someone else to care for the Mother. Maybe someone who doesn't have a teenager in tow. Just plan to leave, then do it and don't second-guess your decision. Apply for Section 8 housing with the county if you need a place to live. Ask churches and synagogues, research non-profits that help single Mothers. Have things in place before you leave.

Do not EVER return to this type of arrangement again. Live-in deals usually only benefit the "employer".

Get a real job with an actual employer where there is accountability, benefits, and security.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Hi, Lily!

That's a sweet deal. $2500 plus free rent for 2. where I live, 2 bedroom apartments go for $1800-$2000/month--want a house? add another $500 to that total.

They have you between a rock and a hard place. What are the labor laws in your state?

You have leverage, they're desperate, or they wouldn't cry.

I would insist on 2 consecutive days off per week or you will move on...and mean it. Poppa always said "make sure your have a job to go to, before you leave the one you have."

Explain to your employer that the working conditions are not safe if you're too tired to pick up the client when she falls, that a cane or walker would go a long way in minimizing falls. That they can give you 2 days off to regenerate by hiring someone to "day watch" the client as long as you're home during the night to do the regular stuff. She's 98, it's not for long.

Note, this is not a long term solution because what if you or your child get sick? Because she is 98 you'll be looking for a job soon enough. For the future, you need to develop a contract for LTC that defines what you will and won't do.

Good luck!
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Reply to NeverABreak23
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JoAnn29 Sep 26, 2025
Did you calculate that at 24/7care? This women is expected to be there around the clock. She should be working 40 hrs a week with more than 12 hrs off.
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