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I need to find a form I can have notarized indicating who I want my caregiver to be. My daughter is mentally unstable but has always thought it would be her, but I’m not comfortable with that. I want my son and his wife to be responsible for my care and decisions. I know having it in writing will avoid much of the conflict when this time comes. I have a very strong history of Alzheimer’s in my family.

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In addition to doing the Power of attorney forms, I'd also consult the attorney about the best way to ensure your daughter is never given the opportunity to be involved in your caregiving. Be sure to appoint a successor POA in care your son and his wife become unable or unwilling to do the job.

The attorney may suggest a fiduciary of some sort to be successor, so they won't age out or die on you, opening a door for your daughter. You might also include specific wording that prevents her from being considered as well.
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Yes, a DPOA is what you want but your son should agree to it. And like said, it does not mean because he has POA he has to do the hands on care. It a tool where he can handle your finances and carry out your wishes. I think seeing a Lawyer would be your best bet so you and son understand what POA means for u both.
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If you want someone to assume your decisions when you cannot, and your son is willing, appoint him as your POA over your finances and health care.

You, however, can’t make him or his wife personally contact to do the hands on caregiving because you want to remain home or remain with them for the rest of your days.
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