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This is my 20th year of caregiving. Eight for my husband, 5 for Mom and 8 for Dad-the last 5 in my home. I am burned out. He is 94 with dementia, uses a walker but is a huge fall risk. Today he has been hallucinating and delusional. He’s talking to people that don’t exist but at other times is quite lucid, I’m exhausted. I need him to be cared for and safe. He is incontinent and I need help. We live in CT how can I get him placed in a nursing home without spending 3 days in the hospital? His vitals are better than mine. But, I’m exhausted. Help. We have applied for Medicaid waiting for a decision.

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If your father has had a sudden change in mental status, I would call that a medical emergency and call 911.

He could have a UTI, which can cause a sudden change like this. He may be having (or has had) a TIA


Why don't you want him to spend 3 days in the hospital? It's the shortest and most direct route to placement.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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I would start with his PCP. If they have a large elderly clientele they should be able to help guide you and may even have a nurse coordinator who does all of this for the office and their patients families. I know my mom's PCP's office does (in CT).
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Reply to Lymie61
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Hi Katmar, try calling around for some nursing homes to see if they will accept “Medicaid Pending”. Some do. Sometimes it will say that on their website. Also, does your father have any savings? If so he may be able to private pay for some months at a nursing home while his Medicaid paperwork is going through. If that’s not an option at the moment see if you can hire some help at home at least temporarily while everything gets sorted out. Your local office on aging may be able to help.
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Reply to IES130
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The NH will interview you about his needs to see if he is a fit. He may need a doctors note. Call around starting closest to where you live and fan out. Do you know that Hartford has a well known psychiatric hospital with a dementia unit just in case his hallucinations need to be addressed?
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Reply to MACinCT
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Hi Katmar, I empathize with you. Its so hard. You can start researching and calling SNF's in your area to see if they have open beds and will accept Medicaid pending residents. You also may need a Dr. declaration that he needs that level of care (I'm not sure about that but I think you do). I've heard its very hard to go this route of placement on your own, so if you do succeed let us know how the process went. If you don't have luck by yourself, try contacting a state social worker or Area on Aging for help. Best wishes.
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Reply to mstrbill
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I think ur Dad would fit the criteria. But, you will need to check with the NHs in the area. His PCP can recommend 24/7 care.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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