I recently took an elderly family member (who has dementia) to a doctor’s appointment. A nurse was attempting to take her blood pressure, and my aunt began yelling “Stop it! You’re hurting me!” Then my aunt began counting 1… 2… 3… 4… 5…, like something was going to explode when she got to ten. My aunt then began shouting expletives, and the nurse was taken aback. I apologized to the nurse and told my aunt to “watch her language”. Not sure if that was the correct response to the nurse or to my aunt, but I felt like I had to do something. My aunt also made a comment about the clerk who was scheduling her next appointment. The comment was “What is she doing? Sitting on her a__ doing nothing?” I want to be better prepared for future doctor visits. I need some pointers on responding to this type of behavior. I wonder if I should give the nurses/doctors a heads-up by giving them a short note describing my aunt’s condition/behavior at start of appointment.
You might be able to order these from companies that cater to Alzheimers customers. I've seen such companies online.
My Mom would cry out when they did her blood pressure. I had to get mine done a few weeks back and realized it does hurt. Tell the nurse next time to use something else to get her reading.
When my Mom could no longer write her checks, I did it and found she was going to the doctor every 2 months. I asked her why and she said he wanted to see her that often. My Mom was on BP meds and cholesterol meds only. Healthy as a horse so no need to go every 2 months. My State requires that you see a doctor every 6 months to renew meds. She had stopped driving so I was now taking her to appts. The next appt I told myself, if he asks why she is there we will not be coming every 2 months. He asked.
So what I am saying is, does Aunt need to go to the doctor often. I did not make Mom another appt that day. I would be taking her when she was sick or to renew her med prescriptions. She had a couple of specialists, once she was stable, I asked that she only come every 6 months or even a year. Her meds should be looked at too. Mom was on one she did not need anymore, I questioned it and the doctor removed it.
I've seen this happen to with the doctor requiring the every 2 month visit. If tele/health visit is available, it's so much easier.
Your aunts medical team should be aware if this.
If you are POA and designated on HIPAA forms you should discuss medication for anxiety. And it would be a good idea to "pre-medicate" if you know she will be in a stressful situation. Do know that these meds can make her more of a fall risk.
And at some point many (if not all) doctor appointments become unnecessary. I would find out if your aunt would be eligible for Hospice and switch all care to the Hospice team.
One could stay with Mom and one could talk to the Medical Asst, LPN or CNA in the hallway regarding Mom's status.
Mom also did not like the blood pressure cuff and say "It hurts, it hurts, it hurts."
You handle that behavior the same way you would with a child. You tell her firmly and very plainly that she's acting ridiculous and to stop it immediately or (we won't be going to lunch, or for ice cream, or for a drive, etc...). Promise a treat of some kind if she behaves properly in the doctor's office (or wherever you're bringing her) and if she acts up, the treat is cancelled.
I did this for 25 years as a professional caregiver if I had to take a dementia client to a doctor's appointment or anywhere else. I also did it in their home if we had to do an activity they were being stubborn or ornery about like changing a diaper or taking a shower. It usually worked.
It's funny because my care clients who would act up and get a treat cancelled always remembered the treat. They'd ask after their doctor's appointment or wharever else we went if we were still going to lunch or for ice cream, etc... and the answer would be no. Of course I'd get the silent treatment or the orneriness, but I never gave in and this is why my clients even with dementia, knew I meant business. Even when a person has dementia they may still possess some level of understanding and have some self-awareness. If they're at a point in their dementia when they don't, that's when it's time for a memory care facility.
Elders with Dementia are like dealing with a bratty toddler. It's a miracle you got her to a doctor appt as it is! Usually the demented Elder refuses to go inside, has nothing to say, or doesn't answer questions, has a toddler tantrum....or they are full blown obnoxious.
Better luck next time!