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Mom has cancer. Does anyone have experience with an end-of-life rally?

End of life rallies, are true blessings. Sometimes there is more than one. The second may be less energetic, but awake and alert enough to say goodbye.

My Aunt had Ovarian Cancer and she had a burst when they put her in high doses of steroids. I was able to visit. She was strong enough for s movie and dinner out .about 3-4 hours a day. Then again she rebounded in palliative care. Still dictating the final plans for her funeral.

Love and prayers for all of you who have lost sooneone dear!
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Reply to GraceLPC
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Rallying is a last hurrah, if you will. The elder may be surprisingly "better," though it may be short term only.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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my husband died of cancer, he had been in bed and had no food for 2 weeks, one day he said he wanted to sit outside, we brought him out, he ate a dish of ice cream and talked a lot, when he got tired he went back to bed, went downhill and died 2 days later, so yes he did have an end of life rally.
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Reply to nancym76
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My daughter passed on 2013 of Ovarian cancer. She had been in the hospital for approx. 3 weeks. She wasn't eating, drinking or able to walk. She slept most of the time. One day she woke up and was talking, said she wanted to go for a ride in her wheel chair into the hallway. I had to call the nurse to get her unhooked from all her IV's. When the nurse got her unhooked she told the nurse to sit in the wheel chair because she wanted her to rest and my daughter wanted to walk. My daughter pushed the nurse around the whole 3rd floor, the nurse waived at patients as we passed by and my daughter was laughing and having fun pushing the nurse around. Everyone was amazed that she could do this, because of her condition before, a few days later, my daughter passed. It was amazing to watch how she rallied like that.
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Reply to chill47
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Bonniewelbaum Jan 28, 2019
Nice story thank you for sharing. I’m sorry about your daughters passing.
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We had a neighbor who was diagnosed late with stomach cancer. What they did, a few weeks before he past, was getting the word out of having an open house type party. Sounds strange, but it went Very well. Family and friends from around the country came. It was held over a few days within a 3 to 4 hours a day.
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Reply to Jaredwg
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my ex girlfriends mom had this. (The mom and dad both died of cancer within weeks of each other in their mid sixties, very hard on my ex of course.)

Anyway, the mom was going downhill, they thought she would die soon. My ex called me at work one day and said her mom was somehow, in her hopeful mind at least, miraculously getting much better, was alert, very talkative (more than she ever was in fact) so I went there to visit and sure enough she seemed like she was never sick. That was on a Friday. She died the following Wednesday. We learned this is very common.
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Reply to Karsten
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Happened to my Dad with cancer, he waited for me to get home, got some extra energy out of no where. Some, will wait till you have left the room, gone home, gone to sleep etc. Others will get that second wind, its their time to make you smile and say their goodbyes. Even though painkiller they will come out of this for a short time. Reflecting back, I now think its their way of being half in this world for us, for farewells, and one foot already in the door of heaven or wherever you believe their spirit is going. But this happens usually only right before the end, a few days before, not more than a week usually.
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Reply to Cherrysoda
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Its not easy. Just lost my dad to cancer. How old is she? And is she in pain and have other issues?
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Reply to Iris29
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"The rally before the finally". A brief period of heightened alertness, awareness and energy a few days or a few hours before passing.
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Reply to jumparope
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The rally is very end of life. Often, a person who is declining a lot and likely just days before death will have a period of increased zest and energy for a short window (maybe up to a day) and surprise family because the person suddenly seems more upbeat. Often this is followed by more end of life symptoms... beginning the active dying phase. It doesn’t happen to everyone but is not uncommon.
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Reply to Target456
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I lost my Mom to Lung Cancer and Heart December 14th of 1She refused to ever see a Specialist and in the End, Ended up in ICU, Where they did everything for her until the End. The hospital kindly gave her many meds to sedate her, Put her on a Ventilator because she finally could not breathe on her own in the end, but the final decision came to my sister who had to make the hardest decision of her life and that was to take Mom off the tubes. got her "Second Wind," Which many times happens, when they want to find Closure to say "Good-bye." When it was near the end, they took her to a floor Called "Comfort and Care" Where she quietly passed on.
However, If it is all possible and anyone's loved one has Cancer, Either have Hospice come into their home or let them go to Hospice.
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Reply to Parise
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dinamshar9 Jan 27, 2019
Sorry for the loss of your mom but I’m just wondering why you feel having hospice come in at home would be better than being at the hospital- it sounded like “comfort and care” was ok.
we had hospice for my mom and they were never on top of things - we never knew what to expect and the nurse should have come more often than she did!
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An end-of-life rally can be of undetermined length. My father's rally lasted many years - my SIL's rally also lasted many years. For each of them, the doctors advised calling in the families for the end - but SIL lasted at least another 5 years and my father about 10.

Both were still called rallies. Both were brought about by the families caring and coming together. I think in both cases, it was the knowledge that others still cared about them.

My father's body did it's own heart bypass. My SIL, I believe, just liked the company and family attention.

My DH rallied many times in answer to different solutions before he finally succumbed at the age of 96 yrs 8 mos. At that point, his body started shutting down and I quit pushing him. But over the 4 years previous, I lost count of how many times he stopped eating in preparing for the end.
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Reply to RayLinStephens
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Yep. It's the body's last hurrah before it expires and is quite common in terminal patients, usually occurring two to four days before death.
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Reply to dragonflower
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Any "rally" seems to be an improvement from what the person was like previously.
A rally usually comes on fairly fast and usually will not last long.
A person can rally after being put on Hospice. This is usually because they are getting more care, possibly better care and are more free of pain than they had been previously. This may or may not be at "end of life". Many people are put on Hospice at the very end and unfortunately they and the family do not get the full advantage of Hospice.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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It's when the person dying wakes up like nothing is wrong and it freaks you out. They are good. Want to chat hang eat try. My dad went through it. Its false. It's the awakening before the end. That was hardest for me. I am here if you need anything. Hospice is well versed in these things. Regardless just take the time to say goodbye in your way.
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Reply to Cupofjoe34
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Are you talking about end of life?
There are many stories of people having a rally toward the end of their life where they are able to say and do things that astonish their friends, family and caregivers. This happened to my mother - despite having been mostly immobile and not speaking for the previous year and a half she suddenly began to talk and move her head and arms, when I came for my daily visit one of the ladies at the nursing home told me she was "talking up a storm"! This remarkable rally lasted 2 or 3 days before she lapsed into the active dying stage.
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Reply to cwillie
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