What is one to do if an elderly parent refuses to go & get tested for Covid? She says, "I don't give a damn what everyone else is doing.."

Karen, well one place your Mom should NOT go is to the beauty parlor. I am honestly surprised that any are even open. How often is the residential laundry room wiped down with disinfectants by building staff?

Yesterday, 4000 people here in the States had passed in one day. That alone should scare doubtful people that this is very real.

Actually being tested only helps whenever someone is very sick and the hospital needs to know what they are dealing with. Otherwise, if your Mom is tested on a Monday and the test results don't come back until days later as negative, your Mom could be positive on the day she gets those negative results. And here she is thinking she is in the clear.... and might believe she will never get the covid if her results are negative.

Even after we get the vaccine, we still need to mask up, etc. because there will be people who will refuse the vaccine like they do the flu shots and pneumonia shots. Hope your Mom has had both.

Is mom living with you? Is mom able to care for herself?
If so she has 2 options.
She gets tested
OR
She moves into Assisted Living or Independent Living.
If she is living in your house it is your rules. (I am sure she said that to you when you were growing up)
And I would also go as far as if she does not follow CDC recommendations (masking, sanitizing, handwashing, social distance, limiting the number of people she is with) that you will help her pack.
She is not only putting herself at risk but she is risking the household.

Masking is just one social mitigation strategy (an important one!). Where is your mother going when she goes out? Are there a lot of people? Is she social distancing?

Just wait until she gets sick. If you feel you might catch it from her, take all the precautions you can. I realize that's a huge pain, but I don't know what else you can do.

My sister had symptoms but refused testing - was scared of the test being too awful.
But explaining it only took a few minutes helped & she did get one another time when required.

Depending on Mom's personality, make it a challenge! (A bit sneaky 😉) Gosh you wouldn't want your friends to think you were SCARED... Or I would think you were so BRAVE to have the test...

To protect yourself, either stay away or fully mask up until her symptoms really disappear or a neg test is received.

I just recently lost my dad to covid.

Heres the thing. He wore a cloth mask, I would bet money that he never washed it, not once in months. He wouldn't use hand sanitizer and his hand washing habits were quite gross.

When all of this started I told him daily for weeks to wear a mask, wash his hands, don't touch your face and social distance as much as possible. What he heard? Buy anti act soap. Okay.....

He was infected in the hospital. So I wouldn't make yourself sick worrying about what she isn't doing to protect herself. Do what you need to for your comfort and try to keep her away from the medical community right now.

My dad was a naysayer and thought that the virus was made up to create a police state. He did fine until he needed medical care.

Give her vit C, D3 and probiotics to keep her immune system as strong as possible and encouraging a well balanced diet and plenty of rest. What her symptoms are could be anything from allergies to a cold to who knows.

I hope that you all remain healthy and safe, no matter what she does.

Its cold season. If you feel she is showing syntoms, don't take her out. Thats all they are going to recommend if she is positive, quarantine her at home for 14 days. If she shows signs now you have already been exposed. I would just watch her and see how she progresses.

She does go out. Has had mild symptoms, sneezing, sniffling now and then..occasional stomach issue..no fever. She is 76 years old.

She does have exposure as she ventures out from time to time. Exhibits mild symptoms. Doesn't have to be tested as she says "she rarely goes out." and she says, and I quote, "doesn't give a damn!"

Has Mom been exposed? Is she showing symptoms? Why do you want Mom to be tested?
Does Mom live with you? Do she follow masking and handwashing when out in public? Will she accept vaccine?
Does you Mom have dementia?
Basically you should make the safety rules for your own home. Those who cannot follow your own protocol should not be in your home.

Well, from one child of a stubborn parent to another, if you do not believe she's been exposed then probably no reason.

In my mom's case, the first thing they did when she got to the Emergency Department the other day was stick a big old q tip up her nose. Meaning, if you want medical people to proceed with ANYTHING, it's gonna have to happen.

You could also come at it with the, "Well I can't be around you until I know" and give x,y,z reasons. Which who knows, might be just dandy with her.

I'm noticing that those who are refusing, is because they are frightened that it's positive. I told someone the other day, "go ahead and be in denial, I just don't want to turn up being YOUR proof." And out came the q tip.

Good luck.

From your profile it seems as though your mother lives in her own home. Is that correct? Is she going out without a mask? If she refuses to get tested, don't go over there. You can only control what you choose to do.

If she’s mentally competent then she’s free to make her own decisions, even ones you may not agree with. The good thing is, you are also free to make your own decisions, and if you feel you’re in harm’s way by being around her, you can decide not to be there

Is there a particular reason that you feel she must be tested? If she has had no exposure, and exhibits no symptoms there is general acceptance that she most likely doesn’t have it