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My husband has Alzheimer's and I know the time will come when I will need help caring for him. Someone mentioned an NHELA Attorney to make sure we are set up properly for some kind of financial assistance, when it becomes necessary. Can someone give me some direction in this? We have a trust, not much money and a reverse mortgage on our home. We have Medicare with a BC supplement. Not sure how that will help with in home care, assisted living or any of the other issues we r sure to financially encounter. Thanks everyone for being there. I appreciate the ability to vent, educate and not feel alone.

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that is somewhat confusing. Why would a need a probate attorney. if all our holdings are in a trust. It appears the attorneys would be the ones to be making a bunch of money. The purpose of this entire process is NOT to spend money on anything that is not care related. Your input is welcome. Just confused as to the direction you are going.
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Just a thought for future, the different types of lawyers out there is staggering. And they don't all have equal command of the laws-- I have paid thousands to an NAELA lawyer and then parent dies, I go for help with administration of the estate. ...and did not get the completen or correct information at the time I needed it. I would have been better off with a Probate attorney telling me exactly what to do. So consider not just a "planning" attorney but also an "administration" attorney. There is a big big difference. And you or your Executor could wind up making expensive mistakes.
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Thank for u comments. I will start to gather information. Dealing with this is hard enough emotionally..the financial devastation is equaling catastrophic!!
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Freqflyer is spot - on about the NAELA designation. Since you already have a trust done, you need someone knowledgeable in this to qualify for Medicaid as trusts can be a total sticky for Medicaid rules in most states.

I mention Medicaid because the costs of care are just staggering. Easily 100K a year for NH. It's my firm belief that unless you are generationally wealthy, if you live long enough you are going to run out of funds and the caregiver - whether wife or kids - will run out of steam and NH Medicaid or at-home Medicaid will be needed to pay for caregiving. Looking into this now & planning now and before there is a incident so you are decision making in a panic is best.

A Reverse Mortgage is super sticky to deal with. Is this a lump sum RM or a line of credit RM? Federal govt backed one or private? Has the home appreciated significantly since you took out the RM, so that it could sell for perhaps 1/3 more than its tax assessor value? Were both of your names on the RM and you both were fully qualified at the time for the RM age requirement? I would get out the RM agreement and very carefully look to see what the terms care for calling in the loan & the payback requirements are IF hubs needs to go into a NH and under what terms you are allowed to remain in the home. Write your questions down as you review and take these along with all other legal and the past couple of years finances to the atty meeting.

If hubs gets confused going out, I'd do the first meeting on my own with the atty. and then the next one hubs comes with you at whatever time of the day he is most alert and cognitive. Good luck, none of this is easy or simple.
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ELA would be Elder Law Attorney and I would suggest that you make an appointment to talk over everything you had mentioned in your original post.

Elder Law has been around for a couple of decades but has not been made popular until the past few years. These attorneys know the ins and outs of State Trusts, Medical Directives, the different Power of Attorneys that are needed, and how to navigate the maze of Medicaid if you should need it in the future.

I see you have a Reverse Mortgage on your home. If you need to dig into your equity in your home, it might be time to start thinking about downsizing to something more affordable. Don't forget, those Reverse Mortgages need to be paid back when you move out of the home or sale the house.
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