He had a stroke, out of control blood sugar, and just had a heart attack. The doctors have told him he can't drive as have we, but he still drives. We can't stop him from driving without extremely measures. What is our legal responsibility? Have And
I asked my aunt at what age she thought she should stop driving. This was a conversation starter. She knew she was at that age. She did not release those keys easily and told me in no uncertain terms to remove the car or she would drive. It was torture for her to have the car remain. To speak to your question about whether or not mom is liable. Yes. Perhaps a conversation about how to remove all their assets from joint ownership to just her ownership would help open his mind to the seriousness of the situation. Perhaps she needs to divorce him? Not out of anger but as a way to protect their future. You are just considering all your options to protect your mother. Tell your mom NOT to ride with him. Hire her transportation or provide it yourself. Her willingness to work with you will let you see just how hard it's going to be to tackle this problem and if she is truly on board with his not driving. Try to figure out what his purpose is to drive and see if you can get those things taken care of for him in another manner. I know it seems impossible now but it's a transition we all have to go through and you will get there.
Tough love would require you call the police each time he drives on a suspended license-that is illegal-he will be arrested. Your Mom will suffer then too, unless she doesn't pay to bail him out or pay the fine. Sorry this is difficult, but find the best way to obtain Dad's cooperation because the alternatives are not happy. Doubt Dad is ready to be placed in a facility yet just because he cannot drive.
I recommend to neighbors all the time to keep their cars and hire a driver. It is more expensive to take a ride with someone else, and the person (who cooperates with the plan) gets to keep their dignity and vehicle longer. Sometimes, they recover their ability to drive. .... Don't judge, just offer enough alternative choices, give support. But do say, no one will rescue you when you get arrested.
Jumping in here with sneaky ideas-it was Garden Artist that started it! Lol. I am not saying these will work. 1) Disable the gas gauge to read full, and keep the car very, very, empty, fumes even so he cannot leave the driveway or get very far without a lot of trouble. 2) When my son was getting at the age to give up his baby blanket, (No, he was a lot younger than 25, Lol!), he helped wash it up and give it away 'to a baby who really needed it'. There was no crying, no withdrawal, no objections. Ask your father to lend (or give away) the car to a family member who could really use it.
As for the liability for your Mother it is like this: When a couple is married, it is a whole different legal and financial entity, when one loses, the other loses. What affects one will affect the other. If the marriage assets suffer, Mom will suffer, unless she has assets in her own name as separate property.
Wendo, is title to the vehicle in your father's name only, or is it titled jointly with your mother? If the latter, and if there is an accident, if no-fault coverage isn't included in the auto policy, and if your father is sued, your mother would probably be named as well as joint owner of the car.
Contact your state's motor vehicle department, anonymously if you prefer, and ask them to schedule a driver's test for your father. If he fails it, his license will be suspended.
At that point, or even earlier if you find a good way of doing so, you'll have to take away the keys or disable the car.
Is your father the only one who drives it? If so, a sneaky thing to do is take the car to a dealership and ask them to rekey the ignition (I think that can be done!), then his key won't fit.
If he gets into an accident and someone dies, the police will investigate. Although your father is an adult and could do what he wants, people will wonder why his family didn't take steps to prevent his driving. And based on the US news, people tend to sue others for all kinds of reasons.
Have you tried talking to your neighborhood police and asking for advice? Speak to a specific person, get his/her name as a point of contact. Call anonymously.. oops, that's hard to do nowadays since the invention of caller ID and the disappearance of public phones.
If your mom doesn't drive, you and your siblings should discuss alternative transportation for your parents. They'll need groceries, rides to the doctors, errands to be run. It's a huge adjustment for all so it'll help if you all have some possible solutions ready to present to your parents. Good luck - removing driving is one of the most difficult and painful challenges for families.
I can only imagine the mess for your folks if he has a wreck and hurts or kills someone. Your dad and/or his estate would likely be sued for damages. The insurance company would bail out on you since there's no drivers license.
This calls for extreme measures. Remove the car and don't let him get another one. This is serious business.
If he's unable to process that his license are suspended and that he is not allowed to drive, then, I'd try to figure out why. He may not like it, but, if he was thinking clearly, he would understand that he is not allowed to drive by law. Is his inability to understand related to his stroke? I would think that it is the responsibility of whoever is responsible for him, who is thinking clearly, to protect him from himself. That might involve removing his access to a motor vehicle. I would consider that less extreme than allowing him to drive when he could be a danger to himself and others.
Your mom has no personal legal or moral liability should he have an accident. However as freqflyer mentions, the insurance would be void if he would have an accident and if he is sued...they could lose the house and every penny they have. This fear would be enough to stop my fiercely independent dad from driving. You should let your dad know these issues.
I am surprised your Dad can even drive after a heart attack... I know my Dad's legs were like jello for the first few weeks after his heart attack, he could barely walk a few feet. My Dad's doctor said no driving for a few months, and Dad didn't even try to drive... whew.
I know it's not easy for a person, no matter what age, to stop driving even when the medical community says no. People want their freedom, no matter what.
Could your Dad's cardiologist contact the division of motor vehicles and let them know that your Dad should not be driving at this point in time? Or does he not want to get involved? I don't blame him if he says no.
You could tell your Dad that his car insurance would be void if he was in an accident, which means he would need to pay out of pocket for any repairs, property damage and any injuries. He could get sued, and if your parents own a house, they might have to sell to pay the cost of injuries/damages. He could lose his whole life savings.
To speak to your question about whether or not mom is liable. Yes. Perhaps a conversation about how to remove all their assets from joint ownership to just her ownership would help open his mind to the seriousness of the situation. Perhaps she needs to divorce him? Not out of anger but as a way to protect their future. You are just considering all your options to protect your mother. Tell your mom NOT to ride with him. Hire her transportation or provide it yourself. Her willingness to work with you will let you see just how hard it's going to be to tackle this problem and if she is truly on board with his not driving. Try to figure out what his purpose is to drive and see if you can get those things taken care of for him in another manner. I know it seems impossible now but it's a transition we all have to go through and you will get there.
Your Mom will suffer then too, unless she doesn't pay to bail him out or pay the fine.
Sorry this is difficult, but find the best way to obtain Dad's cooperation because the alternatives are not happy.
Doubt Dad is ready to be placed in a facility yet just because he cannot drive.
I recommend to neighbors all the time to keep their cars and hire a driver. It is more expensive to take a ride with someone else, and the person (who cooperates with the plan) gets to keep their dignity and vehicle longer. Sometimes, they recover their ability to drive.
....
Don't judge, just offer enough alternative choices, give support. But do say, no one will rescue you when you get arrested.
I am not saying these will work.
1) Disable the gas gauge to read full, and keep the car very, very, empty, fumes even so he cannot leave the driveway or get very far without a lot of trouble.
2) When my son was getting at the age to give up his baby blanket, (No, he was a lot younger than 25, Lol!), he helped wash it up and give it away 'to a baby who really needed it'. There was no crying, no withdrawal, no objections.
Ask your father to lend (or give away) the car to a family member who could really use it.
As for the liability for your Mother it is like this: When a couple is married, it is a whole different legal and financial entity, when one loses, the other loses.
What affects one will affect the other. If the marriage assets suffer, Mom will suffer, unless she has assets in her own name as separate property.
Contact your state's motor vehicle department, anonymously if you prefer, and ask them to schedule a driver's test for your father. If he fails it, his license will be suspended.
At that point, or even earlier if you find a good way of doing so, you'll have to take away the keys or disable the car.
Is your father the only one who drives it? If so, a sneaky thing to do is take the car to a dealership and ask them to rekey the ignition (I think that can be done!), then his key won't fit.
Have you tried talking to your neighborhood police and asking for advice? Speak to a specific person, get his/her name as a point of contact. Call anonymously.. oops, that's hard to do nowadays since the invention of caller ID and the disappearance of public phones.
This calls for extreme measures. Remove the car and don't let him get another one. This is serious business.
Angel
I know it's not easy for a person, no matter what age, to stop driving even when the medical community says no. People want their freedom, no matter what.
Could your Dad's cardiologist contact the division of motor vehicles and let them know that your Dad should not be driving at this point in time? Or does he not want to get involved? I don't blame him if he says no.
You could tell your Dad that his car insurance would be void if he was in an accident, which means he would need to pay out of pocket for any repairs, property damage and any injuries. He could get sued, and if your parents own a house, they might have to sell to pay the cost of injuries/damages. He could lose his whole life savings.