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4 out of 5 kids hardly visit mom. Too far away, too busy, both, or none. They just don't visit except once every year or so, at their convenience. This is hard on mom, but why is that? Is it because mom misses them, or is it because she mentally can't handle their sudden appearances? One kid in particular, says he'll come "in June" and then mid-May says "in August", and so on.....this is really hard for mom to get her Senior Hopes up, only to be let down repeatedly. I really want to think the best, but all I can see is the very sad look on mom's face, in her eyes, after she gets a call from them saying "hello how are you and by the way we can't make it in August.....". It is depressing. How do I help her feel good about these adult children, I don't feel too good about them (at all) but I am trying to keep the best attitude going.

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I guess I just feel so sad, along with her. I know it is wrong for me me be essentially judging my siblings. But I see the hurt on her face, she gives this big SIGH when she hangs up the phone. It is making her weary, all the waiting. Maybe I am too overprotective.
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I don't see your role as making your mother feel good about her adult children. Don't criticize them to her, but it isn't your job to convince her that what she experiences with them isn't real.
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