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Mom age 90, healthy, independent - Broke her hip January 14, 2015. She emerged post anesthesia dementia. After 2 months in hospital, then 2 care facilities for rehabilitation - she was deemed too mentally impaired for continued physical therapy. They suggested I move here to a nursing home. (I agreed her cognitive degeneration was too great for continuing the physical therapy)

Mom had saved her whole life so I was able to transfer her to a private home where she could have most of her personal belongings and her cat. I will tell you- her mental improved 40%. Amazing what familiar stuff does for dementia.

QUESTIONS: SUDDEN ONSET OF INCONTINENCE. LASTED 3 DAYS- SHE SOAKED HERSELF AND CRIED - WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I DID T EVEN KNOW I HAD TO GO!

UTI TEST- NEGATIVE. However doctor wants to put her on antibiotics *just because* ?????

ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS AND TIME OF RATIONAL- SHE TALKS ABC UT BEING AWARE HER MIND IS SLIPPING- makes me so sad. Any experience with this?

PERSONAL HYGIENE SUCKS- She won't agree, becomes agitated and combative with anyone giving her a shower. I tried and she teared up and asked me to please not pressure her. She's been in the same clothes since Friday. 4 days now. Dr, apt this afternoon.

NIGHTMARES, ANXIETY, AND THEN GIDDY HAPPY. ITS A ROLLER COASTER RIDE!

Any suggestions as to what I can discuss with doctor that has worked for YOU?

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!

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Nana2Nanny: Oh how sad for both of you. Especially sad she realizes what is happening. I wish I had some advice, but we're going through the same thing. I don't understand what the aversion to showering is. Some people say its fear of falling, but that can't be it when there are shower seats and someone to assist. My sister forced Mom to shower the day we moved her to AL - she cried and whimpered and squealed the whole time. She hadn't showered in at least 2-3 years, and she is refusing to in AL. Your mom probably doesn't realize she is wearing the same thing every day? Mine can't remember anything after 5 minutes so she has no idea what she wore the day before and will wear the same thing for a week if we don't take it away from her. I hope the doctor can give your mom something to help.
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Is she still on any pain meds because of her hip? My mom broke her ankle four years ago, and the combination of anesthesia followed by pain meds caused increased confusion, severe constipation (which I was told caused pressure on her bladder and increased bladder incontinence), and anxiety. About a month after weaning her off of the pain meds, she returned to her pre-surgery level. I wondered if the slower metabolism in the elderly combined with her decreased activity level made the pain meds affect her more.
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I don't know what is normal. It seems like lots of abnormal behavior can be expected in a dementia patient.
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I wouldn't say "normal" but it is pretty "typical" for moderate dementia. The roller coaster can be medicated, starting with anxiety meds. Get her MD to issue written orders for bathing by staff, with anxiety meds given an hour before. Incontinence: if not a UTI, possibly weakening muscles from not walking around. If she is OK when sitting and leaks as soon as she stands, I would suspect she is not walking enough. You can expect this to progress to a point where she needs the pants on 24/7. In the later stages, bowel control also diminishes. Also discuss antidepressants if the anxiety meds are not enough.
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