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Hello, I live in California and my mom gets money from her annuity and Social Security but was wondering what would be more affordable a live in or Assisted Living? She is very difficult and is verbally abusive she can barely walk and falls a lot she is too heavy for me to lift when she falls . She lives in my nephews house and refuses to pay rent so she can save money for her own place so he has to sell his place . She went to go see if she can qualify for a mobile home because a house is to expensive but she needs more income so my boyfriend was willing to co-sign for her but she is now saying, he can't live there because a friend is going to take care of her ? This women has no friends and family has turned their backs on her because of her behavior even though she is mean I still try to help because she is my mother but now I have to look after myself and now she is upset saying her kids should take care of her and how she hopes we go through the same thing! I agree it sucks getting old but how can anyone help if the person is difficult and threatens you and wants everything their way ! Only thing I can think of is a professional caretaker or assistant living and don't know what the cost of that would be?

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I basically do everything for her help bathe, cook, clean , take care of her pet's also make calls for her but oddly enough she drives herself and still in charge of her finances but has always been on the lazy side when we were young . There are four kids but I'm the only one that will help out with her everyone else is to busy or not to mention my mother can be a pain in the butt. Thank you on more or less what the cost would be on a caregiver and nursing home.
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Most of the assisted living places I visited DO NOT allow people to remain there once their care requires 24 hour assistance.

So, my take on this...the 24 hour caregiver is already required...so assisted living would be an additional expense...not instead. Assisted living does not provide that level of care.

Perhaps you mean a nursing home vs live-in caregiver?

At the typical $20 per hour for live-in care... that is $3300 per week
The typical nursing home at $300 per day is $2100 per week.

The additional level of care may make the nursing somewhat more costly..but I think it will still work out cheaper,

One thing I would point out.,.she may be abusive to in-home caregivers..but the nursing home will not tolerate it.
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"she is upset saying her kids should take care of her" So you aren't the only child? What about the others?

As stated above, DO NOT let your boyfriend co-sign a loan with her!

"She is very difficult and is verbally abusive she can barely walk and falls a lot she is too heavy for me to lift when she falls ." You do not have to put up with abuse and you can injure yourself if you have to lift her.

Just how involved are you with her care now?
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Wow the cost is expensive! Yes my mom is the one that likes to shop but hasn't lately which is good. My nephew lives out of state and his house is a rental property but the location of the home is far from markets, hospitals and such so his renters don't last but yes he is trying to get her out of his house so he feels his best option is to sell . She has it in her head that since his parents borrowed money a long time ago and didn't pay her back that she doesn't have to pay her part of the rent his parents should pay for her grant you they should of paid her back but that's not my nephews doing he wasn't the one who borrowed the money . Her way of thinking is off to say, the least.
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Fedup73, live-in caregivers are great if the parent doesn't need a lot of care. Once Mom starts to need more care, this is too much for just one caregiver to handle.

My Dad had 3 shifts of caregivers, and that was quiet expensive, like $20,000 per month, yes per month. We found that by him moving in Independent Living, and later into Memory Care, that cost was more an half that of having around the clock caregivers, closer to $6,000 per month. The cost depends on location.

As for your boy-friend co-signing on the purchase of a mobile home.... NO !!! I think I remember that your Mom loved to shop off of the shopping network, correct? If for some reason your Mom defaults on the loan for the mobile home, then your boy-friend would have to make all of the monthly payments, or go into default himself. That would ruin his credit for quite some time.

Can you clarify why your nephew would need to sell his house just because your Mom won't pay rent? Is the house rental property? And the only way to have Mom leave is to sell the house?
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