What is best long-term placement for my mother? Mentally intact, makes poor decisions, almost total care. Group Home vs NH?

Elder group/foster home that handles these kind of issues research licensed homes reviews by families.

If she has been in a rehab facility 7 times then I’m wondering if they offered long term placement in any of those times and financially you were unable to do that due to your disability. Nursing home placement would be best for your mom in her condition but that will also likely mean that she will lose her check and her home will be considered an income source. This is a hard situation since your condition is pretty bad yourself have you applied for disability? You need to strongly consider this as your mom needs more care right now then you can provide safely in your condition. Your mom would benefit from a good activity program that is very good not one who puts a lot on the colander but what they offer is not quality or anything in room. But I’m concerned about the financial hardship this may cause you. You may lose her home where you are living and she will lose her check so if you rely on that then you are stuck taking care of her with no resources to help. I think you should definitely try a different facility then the one she has been using she obviously does not like it that much or she may have wanted to stay when she meet friends and knew you were still going to visit and check on her. With her chronic issues I do not think a group home is best she needs nursing staff monitoring her condition. I understand that she is sitting all day in her recliner but you yourself are in no condition to do anything else with her she may be different in a good quality program that offers exciting outings to bingo halls out to eat etc. Covid is here right now it is a terrible time to place her as they are in room most places but if there is adequate act. Staff and they have some good plans in place she may just enjoy herself. But what will you do? Can you afford to move right now? I feel so bad for you and your husband so very sorry your all going thru this. Depression in men can be some of the worst I’ve ever seen it’s harder for men to snap back it seems. I think you guys need a break can you call a local nursing home and ask if a CNA there would be willing to sit with your mom at a fair price for a few hours and you and your husband get dressed up and go for a picnic and a drive alone. Maybe your mom had a favorite CNA at the rehab facility who would do this on her day off they often pick up things like this for extra money. I really think you need a break. And your mom would also benefit from someone else to converse with for an evening.

If all she does is sit around then I would try to find a group home.

They will be more cost effective and be able to provide all of her care needs. You aren't paying for activities that she won't participate in.

Contact the area on aging and ask for help finding local board and care homes.

Good luck and stick to your guns!

It sounds like she needs a NH. She'll at least need in home private pay caregivers if you go back to work.