My Mom is 93. She cannot walk, requires full care for everything, including eating, and has very deep dementia. She lives with me and we have an AID during the day. Mother has never been happy since my Dad died in 2000. Her health started to decline after a fall resulted in a brain bleed in 2005. She never walked again and it triggered dementia, which has become very hard for her. She requires 24 hour care. I have an AID during the day and my husband and I are with her the rest of the time. We have no help from family, they have no interest, and have wanted her in a nursing home for years. She has lived in a constant stage of agitation for the last year or so, despite many different attempts with medication. 3 weeks ago we rushed her to the hospital and they found pneumonia. Instant IV antibiotics for 7 days worked. She did lose 35 pounds though and is very weak, however they also found a large mass in her lung. The doctors do not want to do further testing unless we request it. They have given me the bad news and told me she should be in hospice. Right now they have transferred her to a nursing home for 30 days to get stronger. She has been there for 4 days and I already see an improvement. She is going for physical therapy, and I see her getting stronger although she is still very tired and weak. The staff is just lovely and the facility is immaculate and has a kind energy about it. I love the fact that someone is awake 24 hrs if she needs them. My family feels that the nursing home is the right place for her, and for the first time I am seeing how fragile and frail she is. The dementia is so bad. I just don't know, my husband and I will bring her home to live out her life, but I am afraid that as her health declines we may not really know what we are doing. There is a part of me that feels that bringing her home would be the right thing to do, and there is a part of me that is beginning to think that I am being selfish to do so, when she could benefit from constant care. The nursing home is within walking distance from my home, and allows 24 hour visiting. I am there in the morning and again at night. I would really appreciate your objective advice. My husband has been so wonderful about caring for my Mom, giving up any travelling, vacations, etc. He is better with her than me!