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My dad is getting transferred from his nursing home to a senior behavioral unit at the local hospital. His crime (so to speak) is using sexual suggestions with the staff and exposing himself to one of the other residents who they said did not object. Matter of fact, my dad and she have become a couple there, holding hands, kissing and spending all public time together. The problem is that her family has told her and the home that she is not to go anywhere around him any more. I know he is in the wrong, but I wonder if this is just their way of getting a problem off their hands?

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I have visited. It has been an adjustment. An elderly behavioral health unit is really just a fancy way of saying psychiactric unit. Inspite of all of that, he is getting the care he needs for the present. I am hoping he will get dismissed some time in the near future, but these things take time. Also, the staff seems nice. And I think the new medications are helping, as well. Thanks for your reply.
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Please post when (if) you learn the unit's plan for his care. I was just turning to this site for some sanity when I saw your post. My brother was transferred to a similar facility, called a "geriatric behavioral health center," exactly a week ago. He had become verbally abusive and repeatedly fell during attempts to escape from a long-term care facility. The LTC staff saw liability and did (in your words) want to get the problem off their hands. While I can't blame them, I had naively assumed their business was handling dementia behaviors. Apparently some dementia behaviors cross the line, which raises the question, "What next?"
I hoped he would benefit from closer observation and care by people whose skills exceeded those in the LTC facility, but now . . . . 20 minutes ago he called to tell me people had taken over his condo, were drugging him, were holding him prisoner and "yanking him around." (Turns out they insisted that he shower when he didn't want to. And of course he's right that they are drugging him, trying to find a combination that calms him without dangerously sedating him. Trial and error. Imperfect science.
Trying to apply the techniques I've learned on this site, I said, "Oh, no! I'm sorry! How can I help?" He was clear: Contact an attorney and "the sheriff" to remove these people from his home, and bring him the condo title now so he could prove his ownership. At this point I broke the rules and tried to reason with him: You're actually in a hospital; the people are medical staff trying to help you get better. You (and your condo) are safe.
He turned on me. He can't trust me. I'm conspiring with "them" against him. Now he demands proof that this is ia hospital. Who admitted him? Why? I
I said it's night-time now, but I'll see what I can do tomorrow.
I can't do anything tomorrow. I don't know who admitted him. I don't know what comes next.
Let us know what you learn. You're not alone, if that's any comfort at all.
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kschwab1212 Dec 11, 2019
Thanks for your response. My dad has been there for a week now. They have started antipsychotic medications. He seems good and fairly perky. I know he wants to get out. I think overall, he just did have some mental health issues as well as mild dementia that got him there. I have hopes that he will be back at his old nursing home with a different outlook before long. Hope I am not being naive.
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I would say they think your Dad needs to find a medication to keep him from flashing. He will be there till they find the right mix.

A NH can't monitor residents 24/7. Too many of them. Don't expect to keep the "lovebirds" separated. In their minds they are boyfriend and girlfriend. My daughter had a couple that thought they were married. Slept in the same room. Both had spouses that visited. If u tried to separate the couple they would make a scene. So, the NH had to let it go.
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kschwab1212 Dec 11, 2019
Right. Awkward. My dad has been put on some new medications that I think are doing him good. The real test will be when he goes back to his nursing home and has to confront all the people he had interacted with, some in a negative way. And I don't know what will become of his "relationship" with the woman. Thanks for your reply.
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I always wonder why, exactly, there is such objection to romance in a care home environment? I mean, for godsake...why should these poor souls NOT be able to love again and canoodle around together if it's consensual?

That said, your father is exhibiting inappropriate sexual behavior aka ISB which is common with dementia. You mention your dad has Parkinsons....do you think he's also suffering from Dementia? He can't be exposing himself or making lewd comments to the staff without repercussions. There are drugs that can be prescribed for ISB, and he's likely being sent to the behavioral unit for diagnosis and medication. He should then be released back to his NH once that's been done.

All the residents who live together in a communal care environment need to feel safe and the facility is within their rights to have your father evaluated, for everyone's sake. Good luck.....hoping for the best possible outcome here.
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kschwab1212 Dec 11, 2019
Thanks for your reply. I think he is getting the help he needed. I honestly did not think there was a "cure" for what he was doing. Just old age, mild dementia behavior. He is from a different generation, and the things he was saying to the staff were not really new things for him. He just upped the 'ante' so to speak by getting more graphic in his talk. And then there was the ISB--exposing himself. My dad does have some dementia. Maybe more than I even realize. And I have read that Parkinson's can cause dementia. Thanks again. I have hope.
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You have an interesting situation here. I just read your profile.

I am not sure what the behavioral health unit entails. Can you ask them at the facility? Are you allowed to visit?

Best wishes to you and your dad. Others will have answers for you.
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