I’m the one who was trying to keep my dad 93 year old from running away.
You were all wonderful! Dementia had never occurred to me and you all spotted it right off! Thank you.
Now July 15th, after numerous times of calling the troopers on my dad because he ran away. The ER would not keep him. He was getting angrier every time he came back.
He managed to escape to Seattle.
He ended up spending a couple weeks in a psychological ward, then another part to the hospital for a total of a month and a half. He didn’t want to come back home and was very abusive every time I called him. On Dad’s 94th birthday my brother decided to take him for a little while. Well he couldn’t handle him for more than a week and I had to buy him another plane ticket back home.
Other than a few mean episodes of calling me a liar and a thief for taking his laptop, that he took with him and lost. He lost that and his kindle and a camera and his big beautiful gold nugget watch band! But didn’t remember taking it.
Hes been a lot more mellow, but I’m thinking he’s just biding his time. He has appointments for new hearing aids, another thing he lost. And glasses. He thinks when he gets these things he’s going to buy a truck and get his drivers license and drive back to the states.
I got the ball rolling and an application in for the Pioneer Home and prayed and prayed for him to be accepted as soon as possible. Well now he’s been accepted and it just finishing up the paperwork.
My dilemma, since he’s been behaving for the most part, is how to break it to him. How to abandon him. That’s what he’s going to think. He’s going to blame me like he did for putting him in the hospital in Seattle. I didn’t do that. He did it all on his own.
I've thought of fooling him and saying he has an appointment in there. I don’t know how to go about it and I don’t think he’s going to agree.
I am beating myself up, losing sleep and feeling so guilty. I play all kinds dialogs in my head but I never win.
Please help.
Thank you in advance,
God bless you!
Ask if there’s a guys group, I bet there is. At my moms IL, the men once a week had their own luncheon area and played games afterwards. I’ve seen that done at ALs too. Ask if there’s something like that.
They may suggest that you hold back from visiting him the first week or so. It will be hard but listen to the staff and let him get acclimated.
also could you post an update of how Pioneer is? Only Alaska does them, for I’m not mistaken. It seems like an awesome approach to LTC living situation.
So sorry you r going thru this.
Be sure and stay clear for a few weeks to let him get settled and calm down. Don't take his calls and when you do, don't tolerate being verbally abused. Tell him you will talk to him later when he is in a better mood and hang up.
Don't try to reason with him. Tell him that you have an appointment there and take him, no need for unnecessary upset before hand.
You are ensuring that he is receiving the best care possible for his needs, stop beating yourself up and remind yourself that this is in his best interests, whether he agrees or not.