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He keeps saying he doesn't want to go into a nursing home. But eventually he will have to. I am by myself and he doesn't want visiting nurses in or anyone from Medicaid long term help. He was in one for rehab and they ended up sedating him because he was awful and wouldn't do the rehab.

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I don't want to go into a nursing home one day either. Or get old, ill - or even cook the dinner a lot of nights.

I will get old & most probably ill too. These are outside my control. I can however go out for dinner, get it delivered or buy pre-made.

If the fact is he needs more care, his choices are 1. Nursing home or 2. Pay for in-home care. Choosing time: 1 or 2. If no choice is made, others will choose for him.

I went blue explaining this to my relatives. Yes I hear want you don't want - so choose another option. But unable to. And I am unable to legally choose for them. So I await crises & situation forced upon them. My relative can say over & over "I don't want to". I just answer the feeling back "no, I don't want that either".

But it will still happen.
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Reply to Beatty
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Most people will say they don't want to go to a nursing home, but that doesn't mean the person truly has a comprehensive plan for themselves going forward. If his cognitive functioning is impaired, it's even more difficult to know what's what in terms of helping the person. Ask yourself how much help does he need vs how much help you can realistically provide. Are you willing/able to provide help to begin with? What is your connection to this person? Is he safe in his current environment? I've seen situations where the elder digs their heels in and refuses to move... only to end up moving out later on (or being unable to return home after a fall or something) and having no say where they got placed because it quickly went from being an idea to being an urgent need.
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Reply to Mysteryshopper
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Do you have DPOA? Is he competent? Then not much u can do. If incompetent then your POA comes into effect if it says that. You then have the authority to place him.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Are you his wife? Daughter? Sister? Neighbor? Do you live with him?

Is it possible for you to obtain guardianship of him based on his mental competence? As guardian, you could place him in a nursing home without his consent. Otherwise, it's more complicated.

Without consent, the best you can probably do is to wait for a crisis (a fall, getting lost, etc.) and call 911. Then let the hospital know that you can't take care of him at home and they have to arrange for a placement for him.

The question is this: Is it better for you, and him, if you bring aides into the home without his consent or move him to a nursing home without his consent? Can he be made to understand that if he refuses to allow additional in-home help, he will not be able to remain in his home?

More information about the situation would definitely be helpful.
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Reply to CarlaCB
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