What and how to say goodbye to my brother-in-law in hospice?

Listen to the positive advice you receive here; don't listen to the hospice suggestion of telling the patient, "It's alright to let go." I said that to my husband when he was under hospice care. A few days later -- although I had not brought up the subject again he said, subduing anger -- "Don't tell me it's alright to let go."

Perhaps share a memory. "I'll always remember that time you ... You are an important person in my life, and I'm so glad you are a part of it."

Help him understand that his life has been worthwhile and contributory, to you and your family. He may be thinking of how much he would like to do, to live for, so reassuring him that he's made a significant contribution to your life may help ease the fact that he won't be able to achieve some potential goals he had. But don't say it that way; emphasize how much he's meant to you.

And I'm so sorry to read of his situation; pancreatic cancer is such a devastating cancer.

There is a beautiful thing you can say:

What do you need right now? What do you need from me right now? I LOVE YOU.

Tell him you love him and what his friendship has meant to you.