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What advice do you have for people to see through these acts?


How would you advise ones who's parents are hiding their conditions to prepare for the worst—especially long distance?

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Thank you! I really appreciate that and will pass them on her way.
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Here are some AgingCare articles that may be helpful:

www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-disease-dementia-warning-signs-144253.htm

www.agingcare.com/articles/signs-your-parent-needs-help-143228.htm

www.agingcare.com/articles/holiday-visits-with-elderly-parents-136906.htm

www.agingcare.com/articles/time-for-assisted-living-139755.htm
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I'm actually asking for a friend who feels like her parents are covering things up. Her dad keeps getting hurt and something always seems off when she visits. She hasn't given me a lot of details but was hoping I could find information for her about it.
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Dear Greta.

I know its hard. For myself, I grew up in a family that didn't know how to talk to each other. No one talked about feelings or needs or wants. There was a lot of silence on important issues.

If an elder is not disclosing everything sometimes there is not much you can do. But if you know there is something going on or if you suspect they are a danger to themselves, then absolutely contact the authorities to get them the help they need. They should not suffer because their mental capacity could be affected by dementia.
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This could require a complex series of answers, so I'll quickly only address the last question. I would pretend that I'm not aware of their desire to disguise their conditions, but secretly write them down, develop your own solutions, and ask your parents if you could help them by doing some of the tasks with which they have problems.

I realize that some medical issues aren't ones that you could help, but try to find a way to offer assistance w/o putting them in a situation of being embarrassed by what you've observed.

It took me quite a while to figure that out. And I find that I react the same way; when someone assumes an inability of mine, I resent being told because that person doesn't really have any knowledge of my situation; it's more that they think they know and want to make decisions for me.

Would you care to be more specific about the limitations of greatest concern? A lot of people here have gone through a variety of different situations and could offer more specific suggestions, as "one size doesn't fit all."
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