I have so many things to ask/comment on. One being that I actually called a "caregiver" hotline last week and just sobbed. Kind lady was helpful, but it's all the same stuff.
Anyway, today's big question I hope you dears can help with is that my Mom has decided she wants a knee replacement. She had one years ago, and the doctor said she'd need another eventually. I acknowledge it must be painful.
However, she refuses to exercise. She goes from her bed to recliner to toilet (when she doesn't sneak a diaper....because then she doesn't have to get up). She has opportunities to walk daily, whether inside or out. I'm not expecting her to do laps. Just to be active.
Before, she didn't do her PT after the knee replacement. I see the same thing in store. Her doctor again said he'd refer her to the ortho we saw before, who said to delay it. And he warned her lots of PT would be involved. She told her doctor she needs it urgently to walk. I spoke to him and he said she shouldn't be in pain when walking. He thinks the ortho should make the call.
Thing is, she's not walking. She might feel better if she got around the house. I could buy into the surgery if she upped her exercise now, in advance, maybe lost a little weight. I'd be totally supportive. But I can't be right now. Not when she will not get up for anything. In fact, the recliner is almost a bed, she lays it far back.
So of course her knee hurts when she walks on it, because it's not used to being used. I can beg her to walk with me, even just down the hallway and back at home. I took her to get her hair done and she fell in the parking lot. She said it was because of her knee. That wasn't it, she was fiddling around with her cane and her bags (she wouldn't let me carry) and she was rushing around. She's fine after that. To her, it reinforces the need for surgery.
I suggested PT first (as did the ortho). Nope, surgery. She's 86, and there's Covid to think about. They'd likely want to do skilled nursing facility a day or two after (like before). So....seems a bad idea to me.
I don't want to sound awful but I don't want to deal with the recuperation process if she won't try. I had a heart attack two years ago, and the next day I was cooking for her and sweeping. So yeah, I don't want anything else on my plate.