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Katie, my mom gets excellent care in her NH. Not all places are bad.

Just as there are good schools and bad schools, good doctors and bad doctors.  You stay involved, work with staff. If things are bad, you involve the authorities and move on.
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Every time I read one of these stories...I cannot help but think about all those people who say that nursing homes, AL, and other institutions have "improved" so much since the one from years ago.....oh yeah? If these events are the improvement...oh geez

I will not allow my Mom to enter one of these places...so long as I am living.
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Sorry I got lost in your long response daughterlu. I think because it was one long paragraph.

Nicole
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When my Mother fell as a result of the Independent Living Facilities overreaching "Care" program when I am POA, her Dr. stated no more P.T., O.T., and Mother did not want what the facility had scheduled and I said no. It was there way or no way. They injured her and while in the injured condition they insisted she have an afternoon shower by Nurses Aids when she had already showered for the day. This is in an Independent Living facility, it is self pay not Medicaid. She had the right to refuse treatment. That night she fell. I slept over and found her unconscious on the floor next to her bed about 3:30 am. A report of suspected abuse against me was called in to the hospital that night from an alleged employee of the Facility. There was no RN by that name working in the facility. I suspect it was the facility. I have the name of the caller. A person of that name works at a Hospice in the same city. It could be connected to the Caregiver Support Group the facility has for residents. I received a call from the Elder abuse Agency where it was reported. Mother and I were found to have a good Mother Daughter relationship. . . however, there were other things... The point came where I wanted to remove my Mother from the facility and move her home with me and I could not. Subsequent actions such as refusing to permit us to have Mother go to a different health care facility to recuperate from the fall and a second fall out of the observation room bed (I was not permitted to stay overnight with her) then Mother's subsequent cold at the facilities Health Care Center where the Doctor provided by the facility refused to come and see her, the nurses refused to call him "because she wasn't showing the signs," her developing a high fever and pnemonia and still they wouldn't let us remove her until 2 more days upon which time after 5:00 PM I was permitted to call 911. We went back to her IL apartment and after 3 months she was using her walker 100 yards or more. They came back and in a sweet sweet manner asked if the could get her O.T. as at her age that was needed to restore her to full strength. They promised at the first sign that she wanted to stop they would stop. We made a mistake saying ok. She didn't like the occupational therapist giving her long 30 minute showers. The O.T. agreed to skip the showers and let her do exercises in bed. (she got in bed and didn't want to do anything) She agreed to arm exercises lying in bed. I said ok but please don't forget she has one bad shoulder from a few years ago and the other shoulder was injured in the last P.T. session she had. The O.T. showed her an exercise that involved lifting her arms straight up to touch her ears. I said wait a minute that could hurt her shoulders. The O.T. called the Dr. He said to stop the therapy. The Facility blamed me for making Mother inaccessible to them. They forced Mother into Personal Care in a most devious lie. I took Mother to the Emergency room upon a threat they would call the police if i didn't. 1 1/2 months later I received the report from the Dr. at the emergency room who wrote that there was no reason for Mother to be sent to the emergency room, to return to their Health Care center or to be placed in Personal Care. The subsequent injuries in Personal Care were worse that what she had already suffered. She had three falls from the Nurses Aids bringing her back to her room after breakfast and leaving her in front of the TV. I was not permitted to be with her overnight so that I we could at least get her familiar with her surroundings and the staff was unfamiliar with her needs. She could not get in or out of her wheel chair herself, get to the bathroom or her bed, etc. She had no balance. They had no clue. She became disoriented from the subsequent falls on her head fro leaving her alone in her wheel chair. In addition, they messed up her eyedrops. She was in danger of losing her eyesight and had visual hallucinations (Bonnet Syndrom). It goes on and on the injuries to her. The attorney I had to represent me regarding the suspicion of abuse jumped into trying to get Mother out of that facility. The Abuse Agency contacted family. A very arrogant cousin who hardly sees my mother, by virtue of the fact he is a retired baby Dr. spoke against me bringing Mother to my home. There was no cause for that. he reasoning was that I had bad judgment: 1.) divorced an abusive husband in 1962 from a arranged marriage by the families, 2.) With the Dr.'s permission, I took my Mother on a trip with me in 2012 to Colorado. She was distraught and I wanted to find out what was wrong away from the Facility. The trip served its purpose and we returned when she got altitude sickness, she could have stayed per the Dr. we saw in Denver but she wanted to go back. We took a week going back and she unfolded her story, 3.) The other matter was when she changed her Health Care Directive making me her POA of Health Care. Had she not done so, when she got pnemonia she would not have received antibiotics, fluids or other routine care for pnemonia and she would have passed away in 2016. These are the reasons given by my haughty, arrogant cousin to speak against my taking Mother home. He also triangulated the family with the facility. The Activities Director/ Assistant Manager in Assisted Living booked his small group to play horns in Independant Living a few times a year and he was taken by the beauty of the Director of the facility. He was all in favor of the facility taking over my position of POA no matter what Mother's legal rights were much to her harm. This is what can happen when their is a finding of a good Mother daughter relationship. We finally got Mother out of the facility as there was noting to stop us after it was evident to others that the abuse was coming from the facility, they cut my hours to 5 days a week, 4 hours a day and my bother and son came to Mother's side. We moved Mother to another facility that gives good care. Amen. What are you accused of?
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Usually nothing unless a VERY GOOD REASON to visit. Sometimes just a well check on an elder to make sure they are ok and educate them on services available to them. Most times they don't even come in the house.

If more is needed or warranted they may come in and interview senior have the senior walk them thru house, but usually they aren't pushy.

Best to work with them than against them. They can be helpful in working with a client when the elder is resistant to family or neighbors.
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Usually nothing unless a VERY GOOD REASON to visit. Sometimes just a well check on an elder to make sure they are ok and educate them on services available to them. Most times they don't even come in the house.

If more is needed or warranted they may come in and interview senior have the senior walk them thru house, but usually they aren't pushy.

Best to work with them than against them. They can be helpful in working with a client when the elder is resistant to family or neighbors.
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Ask them what they want. Be pleasant. They are probably just wanting to be sure the elder is OK and in a safe place.

If they start to harass you, then seek an elder care attorney to help you.
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