What happens to the home after death?

What do your parents say about your large financial contributions to them and being the moneybags for the increase in equity for the home? Did they put in their will that the house is all yours after they pass? Do you have drama with non-contributing siblings who believe they deserve part ownership & the parents concur? Or do they think 100% of the house should go to their future care.

Whatever the answer, agree with the smart suggestion of keeping all your receipts. You can’t redo the past, but protect yourself financially to the letter. Negotiate with them (put your name on deed) and play hardball. Play hardball anyway if they refuse to negotiate. Take every action possible now to do that. Don’t wait. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

I am so very sorry to hear that you invested money in your parents home, paid their bills, and moved into their home, as you describe them as abusive even when you were a child. I do not see how you can recoup any of these monies. However, I think that your two kids deserve not to be raised in an abusive household. I would work hard, save for a small apartment, move and start a new life that doesn't include the parents. These bad decisions cannot be fixed that I know of; I hope others may find a way to give you advice. If your parents fall they will likely need to go into care. The home, when they pass, will go to being recovered by any medicaid monies it took to care for your parents. Then, to pay any bills owing. Then the remainders will be given according to their will, or divided among siblings by the state probate if there is no will. That is assuming your name is not now on their deed.
Please don't invest good money after bad; your parents finances must be theirs and yours must be yours. I am so sorry, but our decisions sometimes have terrible consequences for our future. I know it will be no comfort to you that your story serves as a warning to others. I am so sorry for this sad circumstance.

I agree with Geaton here and Glad. I hope you have kept all receipts of what you have done to the house. And if hospital bills were ur parents, those too. I think at this point it would be wise to have parents turn house over to you while they are fairly young. Or at least put you on the deed. Yes, brother will be surprised that if parent is in the need of Medicaid, he just can't take over the house. Actually, you living there trumps brother. You are a resident and as long as you can pay bills and do the upkeep, Medicaid will probably allow you to stay but brother cannot move in. The house may not count as an asset to qualify but Medicaid has a right to say how it is used. I too think a trip to a lawyer wouldn't hurt.

First, I've been the victim of abuse but I am struggling to understand why you chose to go into this situation with them? You may want to consider some counseling to see if there are co-dependency issues at work in your decision-making. Many on this forum have similar histories and quandries. Please consider their advice.

Yourself and your kids are the FIRST priority, not your parents or a house. All your decisions going forward need to keep this reality at the center. I agree with cxmoody and gladimhere that your situation definitely warrants investing in a discussion with an estate planner/elder law attorney. Pay a little now to avoid paying a lot later. You have co-mingled monies by paying off a house of which you seem not to be on the deed. And it seems your parents could not afford the upkeep and your mom is only 70...they are prime candidates for needing Medicaid. Your brother is poised to pounce on a house that may not be inheritable. Everyone needs a dose of reality sooner rather than later. This can be sorted out if you get the right professional advice. That being said, if your parents are resistant, secretive and won't do basic things like create the legal groundwork for their future care (like assigning PoA), then a challenging situation will turn into a train wreck with you tied to the tracks. I wish you clarity and wisdom, and peace in your heart if you walk away from it.

Contact an elder law attorney, now. I hope you are able to document all the money you have spent for your folks benefit.

Had you asked this question before you got into this situation, everyone would have told you no, do not do this!

If you are not on the deed, and if your parents have no funds for their care, the house will have to be sold to qualify your parents for Medicaid.
Are you their only child? If not, upon their deaths, the proceeds of the house sale will have to be split amongst siblings.
You are really in a pickle now. Consider contacting an elder care attorney.
Best wishes to you.