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I wrote a couple of letters to mom's doctor which got him to add the term memory impaired to her diagnostic list. That helped later when she went into assisted living. He had to sign a certification form to attest on her limitations. Unfortunatly in the early stages it becomes a magical mystery tour as family try to navigate through. Dad still needs to give permission on being treated unless he is admitted emergently for violence as many primaries are clueless and some emergecy departments are too small to handle this. Generally some medications can be tried to see if he calms down. I hope you have a good PCP, but if you get no response you may have to try another doctor.
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Reply to MACinCT
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Thank you, both, so kindly, for your compassion and your very useful information. I will, definitely, keep everything you have said in mind, and I will, actually, write that "Letter", as you have suggested, because I think that will really help me! I am really sad and overwhelmed by this. Of course, as in all families, there are many layers to it, (but at 90 years old), I am not about to put my Dad into "Family Therapy" (smile).
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Aww Alishka, I'm sorry you're going through this with Dad.

Is this new from Dad? If so, when did it start?

I'm asking because sometimes a senior will have a UTI (urinary tract infection) with no common symptoms. However, their behaviors can change drastically, plus they seem to have other changes that look like dementia. Ask Dr to check him for it. You may be surprised.

Good luck love, let us know how it goes. 🌹
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Reply to Pepsee
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in the letter you write explaining his behavior, might mention that he lives with you (?) and you provide him care (?)

I don't know if it would make a difference on your behalf, if his doctor can be aware that you are the one who is taking care of your dad.
how much do you do for dad? do all the driving? all meals? pay his bills? do laundry and house chores? Help w meds.?
if you are doing a lot, it may help to show you're very involved in dads care.

but what are you hoping to accomplish? maybe medication for his anger? and his anger is something new? do you have any family members that have witness his behavior? do you notice him being forgetful? put it all in your letter.

I remember taking my mom to her first visit to geriatric dr.

there was a lot of facial expressions on my part when the dr. would ask my mom questions. each time dr asked question. my mom would give a untrue answer. and I would shake my head and 'mouth' nooooo.(where my mom couldn't see me do it)

but I took my mom for her dementia and not for being verbally abusive :/

https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/husband-with-dementia-is-verbally-abusive-189320.htm
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Reply to wally003
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Thank You, Mincemeat, for your very quick and, may I say, sharp, response. This is the very issue I am worried about - being believed, especially with this particular Doctor. However, I did want to start there, because, I, too, had suspected some issues of dementia, and had even been counseled about this, by my own Physician. Could I mention that *My Doctor urged me to call - which is true? Do you think this will help My Dad's Doctor have more faith in what I am sharing with Him? Thanks for your kind interest. I cannot tell you how much this means.
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You should write a note to give the intake staff when you take him to the doctor and explain his change in behavior and ask about dementia. BUT, dont get your hopes up as in my experience, most doctors will believe the elder, not the caregiver. Good luck.
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