In the past few years (approx.3- 5) my mom's behavior has led us to question if she might be early stage Alzheimer's/Dementia ... or is it due to aging and many health problems in recent years. Mom is 75, Dad is 78. She had heart surgery about 3 years ago and preexisting behaviors have seemed to be accentuated and some erratic (some memory loss, inappropriate comments in social situations, angry/bitter behavior, says some very hurtful things to family and friends, mental capacity deteriorated, can't find words to say something, speech sometimes slurred, she is on several medications including pain but says she has weaned herself down to less doses per day, says things that she sometimes doesn't remember later,extremely emotional and even threatens to take her life but then says she was just joking and doesn't know why people made such a big deal, stays secluded in her bedroom for long periods of time-all of these have happened over the 3-5 year period). The big event ... my mom and dad moved to an independent living community and my mom began a relationship with another man she had previously known as a childhood friend. Fast forward ... my mom and dad almost got divorced over this, she said she loves the other guy and that he's going to marry her, then another day she says she won't ever see him again and loves my dad. My dad caught her in the other man's apartment and slapped and pushed her (my mom had previously said she wasn't seeing him anymore and asked for forgiveness). My mom and dad have had problems off and on for as long as I can remember but never anything like this. My mom blames my dad for his years of insensitivity and lack of affection. My dad and my sister both think there is definitely something wrong with my mom (dad and mom been together for 42 years, my sister lives minutes away). I am thousands of miles away and so is my brother so we know we don't see things the same as dad and sister, but I don't know what or who to believe b/c there are so many different stories coming from everyone. My question is, how can you tell if it is in fact early signs/stages of something like Alzheimer's or dementia or is it aging, health, and emotional problems? She's gone to a few counseling sessions (counselors at the independent living community), we've asked her to consult her doctor and she says the doctor says she's fine, we've finally gotten her to go to a neurologist and has the 2nd appointment that will include my dad and sister and then a brain scan. What other things should we be doing to help my mom, and dad? I feel like no matter what it is, something is very different about her and she is in pain emotionally and, well, causing a lot of pain to others involved also ( I understand it may be without her really meaning to and I don't say it to be insensitive, it's just the truth). Thank you for any advice.