Follow
Share

I can't afford a physical therapist, my mom is 270 pounds, fractured her ankle and had been bedridden, I need to get her back up on her walker so she can do minimal things, like potty, sit at the dinner table, or sit outside on the back porch. She also has vascular dementia/alzheimers, so she's very impatient as well. I need some exercises to help her get out of bed, she's still cognitive in the mornings and wants to get up. The more "normal" she has the longer the cognition lasts......I miss my mom and am desperately trying to keep as much of her as I can until the disease makes that impossible, I can't give up on her, she never gave up on me.

DJ, I just read your profile.

You have a 4 year old son and you are a widow whose husband (and the father of your child) left the world in a traumatic way.

You say "I can't afford PT".

It is you mother who needs to be able to afford PT, at home care givers or a facility.

Your obligation is to your child and to your own healing.

Call the Area Agency on Aging and get started on the process of getting out from under this wrongly perceived obligation.
Helpful Answer (12)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Report

From your profile: "I am caring for my mother Jean, who is 78 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, incontinence, and mobility problems."

and "I am the caregiver to my mother who has dementia but am also the mother of a 4 year old and widow. I feel obligated to my parents, my father is 83 and helps care for her, but my son is left in our room alone often, especially in the evening....my brother and sister live out of state but do try to help financially without hurting their own finances, meanwhile after my husband's suicide I have not been able to start my life again....I'm struggling with my obligation to my parents, I want to work outside the home and have my own room so my son can have his own room... I feel guilty about wanting that."

PLEASE listen to Barb. Taking care of your parents should be off the table entirely for you. Do you live with them, or them with you? You NEED to start your life again, and you know you are NOT doing that in your present circumstances.

What kind of "help" do your out of state sibs contribute? Why are YOU the one who has to sacrifice everything for your parents?

And the last thing I want to say is what's going to happen when you injure yourself when caring for your mother????
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to CTTN55
Report

Why did her PT end? Was it because she has "plateaued" or did not progress? I hope the suggested videos help but also she needs to be on a weight loss regimen as well (and please know that I'm not here to "fat shame" anyone). Trying to aid heavy people usually ends with back problems for the caregiver. Most RNs can attest to this, so please be very careful in how you move her.

Before my MIL went into AL and then LTC she was 5'7" and weighed almost 200 pounds. It was extremely difficult to give her in-home care, even by the 2 of us. She is bedridden now in LTC because she couldn't really do the PT program due to her cognitive/memory issues. She is a "2-person assist". Please have tempered expectations for your mom's recovery of her mobility.

Also, my MIL is now in a wonderful facility getting excellent care and attention while on Medicaid. She very much enjoys the variety of people she has contact with every day, as well as the events and activities available to her. You may think that only you can provide her with the "best" care but maybe not. Facilities are much different and far more improved than in past decades. In your/her home she will be cloistered and have very little social exposure and access to activities, and it will come at a toll to yourself (please read the posts under the Care Topic of Burnout). At my MIL's facility they even take residents out on their pontoon boat which is outfitted for wheelchairs. She's been to a llama farm, heard concerts, gets visits from pets, does crafts and group activities, etc. Just encouraging you to consider all options if you can't get her up and moving -- a good facility may be the best option for both of you, so don't discount it or you will paint yourself into a burnout corner. I wish you much success in doing what works for all of you!
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Geaton777
Report
Cover99 Dec 27, 2021
Key word "Good facility" Easier said then done.
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
Physical therapy can't be learnt in a forum. If your mother needs PT, it has to be provided by a licensed professional, otherwise is not going to be effective.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to TChamp
Report
cwillie Dec 27, 2021
eh...maybe, maybe not. FWIW the professional that came into our home asked a brief and superficial preliminary half dozen questions then spent about 15 - 20 minutes once a week putting my mom through the exercises I posted, then left a poorly made photocopy of instructions to do the same as homework.
(3)
Report
See 2 more replies
Placing Mom in a good facility— where she can get the specialized care she needs— is not giving up on her!
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to LoopyLoo
Report

With a Doctor's order Medicare will pay for therapy in the home.

Your obligation is to your son. You need to provide for him and get the work credits you need to get a decent SS check when u retire. Your obligation is to see that Mom and Dad get the help they need. Maybe its time for Mom to go to a facility?

Call your County Office of Aging to see what resources there are. Do Mom and Dad bring in enough to pay someone foe even a few hours a day? Check Medicaid for "in home" help.

I have to agree that Mom needs to lose weight. Since she is bedridden, she does not need many calories to survive. Getting her done to 200 would be a big help. She needs to move.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

If your mom has problems with cognitive issues then it is a lost cause. People who WANT to get stronger must be into that mental state. As people age it falls on us to stay one step ahead. I think it is time to adjust your mindset and adjust what you can do for her. This also includes what you cannot do any longer
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to MACinCT
Report

These are almost identical to the exercises my mom got from a physical therapist

https://eldergym.com/leg-exercises/
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to cwillie
Report
Sendhelp Dec 27, 2021
Looks like another good resource, cwillie.
I signed up.
(1)
Report
See 2 more replies
Those videos you linked would have been much too strenuous for my mom Glad. I was amazed at how beneficial just a few minutes of the "wussy" exercises from my link were. (be sure to follow the links on that page for picture and video demonstrations)
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to cwillie
Report

If your mother has Medicare, PT prescribed by a physician is covered at 80%. If she has a Medicare Supplement, the supplement will cover the additional 80%. If she is in a Medicare Advantage plan, there may be a co-pay, which is specific to her plan. In NO CASE should you be paying for the PT. If she has already had prescribed PT, and it has been discontinued, as you may have written elsewhere (?), then it was determined that she had plateaued and was not going to progress further. It's usually possible to appeal that determination. She also may have exceeded the number of PT appointments she was allowed for the year. Decisions that PT should be discontinued are sometimes flexible and may be appealed, in my experience
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to caroli1
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter