What does it mean when my 87-year-old mother says “I felt I was going to die”?

My mother started saying she wanted to die at 32. Soon after that she was going to kill herself if things didn’t get better in our family, but she was the narcissistic main problem so of course things got worse. This progressed til she thought she was going to die at any moment by age 70. We got her a part time companion to cheer her up and listen to the whining. Twenty years later she was sure that any little thing like a popped blood vessel in her eye meant sure and immediate death. Between 90 and 95 she developed serious issues like hip replacement, blood problems and finally dementia during which she begged to die every day or so. She was talking about death one way or another from age 32 until the day she died at 95. Sixty-three years of worry, death threats from her, and rushing her to the hospital for this and that. Get used to it. It’s Unlikely to change. They love to stir things up and bring attention to themselves. After a while, you can listen and be sympathetic, but realize it’s part of their illness and you can ignore a good bit of it , IF YOU DARE. Because mostly they’re twanging you around by the tail.

Yes I've heard this from a parent. In our particular situation I always took it to mean, translated, "I was AFRAID I was going to die."

It's possible she had a heart event, or some other issue, but without her detailed description hard to know if physical pain/strangeness or a mental/emotional sense of doom.

I suppose reassure her she is now ok. I suppose that her time will come.. when the higher powers decide it's time. Reassure her she is loved & will be remembered.

Just verbiage, I have heard this many a time from my 97 yo mother as well as younger people who got very sick, due to the flu or Covid.

Don't overthink this statement.

Have you never felt like you were dying, and said so out loud? Honestly, after the Covid jab #2, I literally felt like I was dying because I was passing out when trying to stand up to get to the bathroom to be sick. And I was 64 when that shot happened!

You have an 87 year old unhealthy mother, so it doesn't sound so odd to hear her say such a thing. My mother was "dying" for 6 decades but wound up living till she was 95. Every time she felt nauseous or dizzy, she insisted she was dying. Is your mother prone to histrionics or is this something new? I'd say get her to the doctor for a checkup if you feel worried, otherwise just reassure her she's okay.

Good luck to you and your mom!

I believe death is natural process which some are aware of.
I believe in anticipatory grief, as some caregivers face the inevitable. It is coping tool and as I learned guilt is not necessary as anticipatory grief actually shows how much we care as we go thru anger, denial until we can reach acceptance.
So, perhaps your Mom has this feeling of leaving this world soon.
It is something you need to accept.

Yup. All the time. At 87, I wouldn't be surprised of she had bouts of thoughts about dying and expresses them.

EVERY SINGLE TIME I see my mom she begins our conversation with a listing of people who have died.

Maybe she felt sick, since you state that she is unhealthy. She's 87, that's way past the 'normal' age span. You know this, of course. It is a little unnerving to have a loved one speak like this, but for me? not when they're that old. And sick.