What do you say when you are given a gift card and that 20.00 suddenly makes you an employee in the eyes of the giver?

ITR don’t use the Amazon credit or redeem it. Tell your friend what you can do to help her within your limits is free because you care.

Break contact with the manipulative family.

Calicocat may be on to something - the consensus that you have been paid and therefore owe them your time is definitely weird and I can't see even the most delusional people as seeing $20 as adequate compensation for even one or two tasks let alone payment for a continuing commitment. I think I would ask for some clarification about this "payment" just to CYA in case something funny is going on. And keep the gift card, your friend may have asked them to do that for you and even if she didn't the amount isn't enough to stress over.

Just coming back to add - if some of them have been lead to believe that you are being paid that could be a reason they don't feel a need to step up.

A teaching moment.
You could say to them, "While I do appreciate the gift, in the future you (all of you) might want to give your time and money to your Mom to help her yourselves."

The only thing I wonder is, if your friend has somehow given the family the mistaken impression that she is paying you??

Then it's a misunderstanding that can be unraveled.

Flipping unbelievable. I’d suggest that you flat just ignore them.
Anyone who thinks a cheap gift card means servitude is beyond having a conversation or reasoning with.

ITRR, I’ve gotta ask you.... to what biz was the gift card? Target? or Tractor Supply? Please share!

You see, this comes under the file "Lessons I have learned".
When you do things for people you expect thanks and gratefulness and all that stuff, but the REALITY is that when you do things for people they come to EXPECT that A) You are doing this because you WANT to and B) It is a given: this is what you WISH TO DO.
So now the question becomes WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? Because as Dear Dr. Phil always says "You are getting something out of this" and I don't mean a 20.00 gift card which has very little to do with any of this.
Here is what I would do. I would say to the giver of the card "I so appreciate the gift of the card. That was lovely. But I do have to tell you that I am just not going to have the time going forward that I thought I had. I just wanted to warn you that I will no longer be available to BLAH BLAH BLAH".
End of story.
I will tell you a little story. I had a friend who had a girlfriend (gay couple). They were living together and my friend was the "caregiver". She earned the money as a nurse for the household. She took her friend everywhere, did everything for her, including the cleaning and the cooking. Then, suddenly, my friend became ill. And that girlfriend of hers? She marched right on out of the house. My friend went to a therapist who set her straight the cheap and honest way--honesty. She said to my friend, "You know, YOU broke the contract. This was the contract. You do everything, and she lets your adore her. Now you want HER to do something? That wasn't ever the contract".
So I will tell you, you wrote your own contract. Now, don't sign up for another tour unless you want a "thank you for your service" and a 20.00 gift card here and there.
Wishing you the best going forward. Do only those things you WANT to do for your own reasons, whatever they are. Stop doing them with expectations going forward. And chalk this up to a wonderful lesson. Life is full of them.

Give them the gift card and do nothing further. Block their phone numbers.

Since it's a friend, and you've been helping out......it's a sticky wicket you find yourself in. I think if I were in your shoes, I'd say that I'd be happy to help out if and when I can, but ONLY if and when I have time. That while I appreciate the gift card, I consider it a 'thank you' and not payment for past, present and future services rendered. That anything you do for this friend is out of sheer willingness to help out, and that you only have a very small amount of 'free time' now each week/month (or whatever) to devote to helping out. Let most of the texts and calls go unanswered, once you've explained your limited availability. They should get the hint eventually.

And no, it's not normal behavior at ALL to give a small token gift to someone and then expect all sorts of services as payback! In fact, my DH once cut down a bunch of tree branches for a neighbor after a storm when the neighbor was out of town. When he returned to find the tree taken care of, he gave my DH a $40 gift card to Texas Roadhouse as a 'thank you'. He didn't start telling my DH what other chores he could do for him in return! LOL

It's too bad they're taking advantage of your kindness like this.

Really! Tell them that a $20 gift card as a thank u for your help, does not mean your at their beck and call. If it does than they can have the card back. I would also tell them that the two meals u buy for your friend on the day you are there, cost you at least $20. You already use a day out of YOUR week to be there for a Friend.

Say what you said here, you saw a need and because it was a friend you did not mind helping. You took the Card as a thank you gift. That does not make you an employee. And if it does, you have already worked off that $20. Tell them it would have cost them more than $20 to hire someone a day to do what you have done. Guess that saying fits in this situation.

"No good deed goes unpunished" Stick by your guns. Do you feel comfortable in telling ur friend what is going on?

I'm sorry you feel that you feel that I am your paid caregiver because of giving me a $20 giftcard as a thank you for helping my friend and your families in a time of need. If I would've known that by accepting your gift it would give the impression that I have been paid for my past and future time and expenses I would have never accepted your "gift". Please advise as to where and to whom I should return this gift so there are no longer any more misconceptions about the situation. I am not your employee, I am her friend who visits her and helps her when I can. Send as a group text to the demanding ingrates and see what happens next. Could it be that your friend gave the impression that she was paying you? When MIL moved in with us told her senior club friends she moved in with her son and this is my girl who takes care of her 🤦‍♀️. Another scenario is maybe something fishy going on with your friend's finances and someone is skimming funds from her under the guise of paying you? That's the reason for a group text, everyone on the same page, getting the same info at the same time, no he said she said. Or even worse, they fear that you will want compensation after your friend passes and some of "their" money will go to you. Some people's ignorance, arrogance, sense of entitlement really irks me. They either don't want or can't do for your friend but expect you to bow to their demands. If demands and orders continue, that's nice that you want me to do xyz. I'm sure you will figure out a solution to this, I have too much on my plate at this time. Can't help stupid.

I’d say that clearly there’s been a misunderstanding on their part, you’re a friend not an employee, and it’s unfortunate they’ve mistaken the two. It’s sad that users are everywhere, I’m sorry you’ve had this experience

I'd be tempted to write up an invoice of all your time and expenses and hand it over along with the gift card. And block their number.

Um. I think I'd give it back, with my compliments and a polite note saying there has clearly been a misunderstanding.

PS Is there any possibility of there having BEEN a misunderstanding? Might anyone in the family have somehow got hold of the mistaken idea that you are your friend's paid caregiver?

If your schedule Allows.

"I can't possibly do that" comes to mind.

"I'm being paid? Am I a W-2 or 1099 employee?"

"Here is the phone number of a careging agency. Please use your mother's funds to hire her the help she needs. I can only be available to visit one day a week, when my schedule allows".

ITRR-I agree with peace416. You should return the $20 and tell them you did what you did because you care for your friend, and will help again IF and when you have time.

What nerve these people have ordering you around. I imaging you still want to keep in touch with your friend to see how she's doing. Otherwise, I'd suggest you tell her kids to go pound sand, and take the $20 and stuff it where the sun doesn't shine.

Enlighten them with a piece of your mind?

I understand your doing this for your friend, but you can't continue under these circumstances with this family. Return the card or the $20, plus tax if it applies.

It is absurd! I was bringing food at my own expense, my own family started demanding more, telling me I should be cooking it at home and not buying it out! Not offering any money whatsoever for gas, food etc. Telling me when to go, now! When the other family was telling me he could get his own food, feed himself, that I should not come at all. And my elder was saying, yes, come! And you all might wonder why I sound c r a z y !

That is why I had made it a point to never receive money for the care giving that was thrust upon me through default. The family did pay me a large amount once after a day of deep house cleaning, done out of love. I tried to return it to the POA person.

I stopped cleaning after that, mostly because I could not physically recover from the pain of over-exerting. And, it would have been unspoken, "she will do it!".

The whole circumstance was one hot mess for 4 + years. I could never tell the story here, as I was referring the families here to educate themselves on caregiving issues.

There were 3 sets of adult children, 6 in all telling me what to do.

Give the gift card back. This is absolutely bizarre!

It is not my friend, it is her children. I do a full day every week because she was going down hill from the isolation and none of her 5 kids was helping her.

Yeah, being considered an employee because of a 20.00 gift card, given specifically as a thank you has really thrown me for a loop. It is definitely screwy thinking.

A gift card is not a paycheck. As an employer they should have taken out taxes, worker's comp, medicare, etc. Oh, maybe they consider you an independent contractor and can boss you around. So where's the contract? Maybe you should demand health coverage and a savings plan. This is really bizarre. Friend or not I'd tell them to buzz off!!