What do you get your loved one for Christmas?

In the past I use to get my parents a "care package"... my Mom would buy the same things over and over and never try out new brands or new food items, so I would go through the grocery store and pick out new and different things for her and Dad.

Example, my Dad never had Cheetos's before, and he loved them. Next thing I knew Mom would put them on her grocery list :)

So many good ideas! This may have already been suggested but worth another shout out, I think. For the person who has everything - a donation in the person name to their favorite charity.

I gave my 86 year old mother a heated mattress pad last Christmas and it was the biggest hit imaginable. She loves it. Says she can finally go to bed and not be freezing. She doesn't want to be without it and bought one for her bed at my sister's house out of state for when she visits there.

Paper lady... Do you remember the brand? Is it actually a full mattress? Just wondering... Is there a link you can send?

I think the one I bought was a Biddeford. They also have Sunbeam and other brands. I bought it online at Macys.com but have recently seen some at Walmart. You can get them to fit any size bed. Some are quite luxe but the simple ones do the job quite well and were more in line with my budget.

My father has also used a heated mattress pad, for years. He says it's just so nice and cozy to get into a bed that's already pre-heated!

I did some checking one time as Dad needed a new one but I don't recall all the results. I think some were available just at a local Meijer's store, which is an extended grocery store with home care product lines as well. I think Target and Penney's had some as well, but I just don't recall for sure.


I've been thinking more and more about holiday gifts as I read the good and helpful answers here and think that I could do more than I've done. There are some logistical issues for transportation, so bringing my father here involves a lot of driving, which tires me out and then I don't feel like even heating up food.

But I've been thinking about emotional gifts. I'm going to use some of the little cards I've gotten through the mail from charities, write a gift offering that he can use when he needs it, and hang the cards from an artificial tree....kind of like a focused fortune cookie gift tree.


I'm hoping someone will have suggestions.....thus far I can think of visits to mancaves (every man likes that, I think), maybe a gift card for favorite restaurants, a blues mood trip just to get out of the house, Dairy Queen visits for nice weather, accompaniment on a walk to the local beach in summer, lunch or dinner out when cabin fever strikes, perhaps a trip to Frankenmuth for the wonderful chicken dinners at the Bavarian restaurants there, maybe a drive over to one of the eastern Great Lakes for a picnic or just relaxation ....

Any other suggestions? He doesn't really need anything material, so I want to focus on the things that need to be done with a designated driver, things that will allow him to get out of the house for a change of pace when cabin fever strikes.

For my Mom sadly she doesn't even know it is Christmas. I did buy Mom one of those tabletop ornaments and ribbon trees, and I have it on her dresser top at the nursing home. I hope she had a chance to notice it. If it makes the Staff smile it would be worth it, too.

The past two months I have bought Mom a lot of easy to wear tops as the tops need to be change twice a day or more as she spills things. Maybe I will get her a large print calendar with nice photos of flowers. I would hate to go empty handed.

I do plan to get the Staff some holiday cupcakes :)

Hi Jude, how about a bottle of 4711?!!

Now I saw some of that the other day. Gosh I remember that well. Now that should have be called Brut for we used to 'dab it on all over' which was part of the UK advert for Brut
I only get lavender now as it helps Mum sleep - something that is becoming a huge problem for me as I feel sleep deprived most of the time theses days

On the issue of smells - for some elders who can still smell various smells trigger very odd memories.

I recall going to a care home where one of their memory days was devoted entirely to sight, touch and smell - well sight, touch and/or smell to be accurate

Pine cones for their touch the smell had long gone
Coal
Furniture polish
Lavender water
Old Spice cologne
Freshly cut grass - that was hysterical it was everywhere by the time they had finished
Old fashioned face powder - someone had brought in an old powder compact and you could still smell that very special smell I associate with my grandma
Cinnamon and clove marmalade
Smelly cheese like gorgonzola
Kippers - smelly but it reminded people of the taste
Some old fashioned soaps
Elizabeth Arden's Blue Grass perfume
Embroidered table runners
Antimacassars
Fire lighters
A very old lavender hair oil for men
Brylcreem also for men
Real silk stockings from a long gone era still had the feel they recognised
Suspenders - the sort men used to hold up their socks
Some sweets from a very old fashioned sweet shop that was nearby
PLUS A LOT OF FOOD cookies, cakes, old fashioned casseroles with dumplings, lamb with mint sauce, pork with apple sauce and crispy roast potatoes


An amazing array done by someone who really knew what the old folk would remember and I vent recalled half of the stuff - the room was full of tables weighed down with past glories

I want to live in Michigan you have some of the most amazing place names and road names Theres a place called Christmas up near Munising and all the place names relate Reindeer Run, Scrooge Alley absolutely wonderful we Brits are just not so imaginative

There are weird/wonderful place names all over North America, some of those early pioneers sure must have had a sense of humour.

my mom is in a NH and has dementia about half the time she is confused but does have periods where she is with it and coherent. . I put together a scrap book with family/friends photos and she loves to look at it. Some days she is more with it than others but really can't concentrate to read anything so magazines, etc are out. . She has enough clothes and other things but loves to look at pictures. What about a fuzzy lap blanket, warm slipper socks, toiletries, a watch with a large face. or a clock for the wall. My mom constantly asks what time it is so we got a clock and put it on the wall near her bed. Funny how certain things they are aware of even when confused.

ohJude: Thank you for taking me down memory lane! I'd like to add a few memory smells and items to the list. Something like - Jean Nate (sp?), Ribbon candy (does anyone still sell this?), shiny silver Christmas trees with the revolving spotlight of red, green and blue. My mom would have loved and most likely remembered these things because her long-term memory was better than the short-term and present day memories. Thanks again so much for sharing all of these things. God bless you and yours this holiday season.

Jude, a memory of scents is a great idea, especially ones associated with earlier days. I'm going to try that with my father. I became relaxed just reading your list of fragrances.

Honestly, I wasn't aware of the interesting names of places in Michigan. I've always loved Frankenmuth for the Bavarian atmosphere, even if it is
commercialized.


CM, I've seen ribbon candy sold in my area, but I don't specifically recall where. There was a wonderful chain of stores owned by one family which had an extraordinary variety of holiday treats, even some from Israel. Walking in that small area where those special delights were displayed was like stepping outside of SE Michigan and suddenly being transported across the Atlantic.

Cracker Barrel may have ribbon candy; it has a lot of old candies from the days when I was a child. I haven't seen any wax lips or little wax Coke bottles for years though. We used to wear the wax lips at Halloween.

There was a restaurant called Buggy Works that was in an old building, with a short hallway entrance of wide wooden floor boards that creaked as we walked toward the restaurant entrance.

Along one side was an old ice cream parlor with the most delicious and massive ice cream delights. I believe there was even an old player piano.

Next to the ice cream parlor was a very small strip of a store selling old tyme things, including candy.

It was one of our favorite restaurants.

Greenfield Village is also another area that might sell ribbon candy. It's a collection of old buildings, including if I remember correctly a Cottswold cottage. I think there also used to be a general store just like "in the old days."

Greenfield Village was the place to go if someone wanted to see an old fashioned Christmas, with decorations that were natural and reflective of times before energy became such an accustomed luxury that decorations turned from freshly cut greens to what are now some incredibly ornate lighting arrangements.

I think this is a day that some of us are going to be wandering down Memory Lane.

Jude, you "Brits" are I think much more imaginative than we Americans when it comes to gardening. My perception is that it's integrated as a way of life, not as a separate interest or pastime.

Mind if I take your thread along another memory lane journey?

Hudson's flagship store used to be in downtown Detroit, a 13 story wonder of the most fascinating and diverse assortment of consumers goods I had ever seen. But the crowning glory was the top floor with its holiday displays....so mamy toys, dolls, and delights for children.

It reminds me now of some of the movies, such as Toyland, in which there were just so many products it was hard to choose.

Dad used to take us downtown at Christmastime; it was really a special treat. I still remember those days, and the atmosphere of Hudson's own North Pole.

GardenArtist: Thanks so much for responding about the ribbon candy, and I wouldn't have thought about Cracker Barrel. Maybe it's time for a little trip before Christmas! This time of year makes it seem like even though we don't see each other, everyone is connected whether on this site or in spirit. God bless.

GardenArtist: I forgot to thank you for mentioning the Greenfield Village. I haven't been there for quite a few years! Maybe time for a field trip!

GardenArtist: I googled about the wax lips and coke bottles. Guess what? I found a place in Kittery, Maine. It's called Yummies Candy & Nuts. They have a section that is called "memory candy". They even showed a picture of both items and I saw the lips and even a mustache I used to wear with my friends growing up. I could almost taste them. I even could remember the taste of the sweet liquid in the coke bottles. Wow, what a blast down memory lane. I'm sure you can order on-line (just in case you get the urge)!

CM, I had forgotten about the mustaches - weren't they big, swirly, handlebar type mustaches, the kind one might see on members of a barbershop quartet?

I'm going to check out that store. It would be nice to see all those things that I had forgotten existed until the last several postings on this thread.

GardenArtist: They were indeed the big, swirly ones! They seemed a lot bigger when we were young though! If you get a chance, check out the whole website -- they have all the old-fashioned candy and nuts you can imagine. I didn't even think about it, but they may even have ribbon candy. I'll have to re-visit the site. Have a great day.

CM, I did check out the site - so many memories. I've been flashing back to when I was a child and my sister and brother and I walked across the street to one of the 2 corner stores. We gazed in the windows at the little wax treats before we went in to buy. I can still picture our old house and the two little stores just as clearly as if they were across the street from me now.

As I wandered through the website, I also began to get hungry. That's when I hit the chocolate stash. Now I need to be more controlled and put food aside until the next meal!

What great ideas here. So often it's difficult to buy gifts for a person with advanced dementia. My cousin has very poor memory, but she knows what she likes in the moment. I've ordered her the purple sneakers she had a fit over previously. I think she'll like them, though, she is attached to her current pair. I'm including some nice socks and a new doll. I'm also going to take her her favorite meal of sausage, egg and cheese biscuit and a diet Dr. Pepper.

With Mom being in the NH now, gifts are pretty limited. She's on fluid restrictions, so no pop or soda (which she loves), she's also in stage 4 kidney failure, so salt is limited (and she'd love a bag of chips or something salty). She has limited space for knick knacks, and what space she has is already filled.

I did put up a small Christmas tree and brought in the motorized snowglobe candle I bought her a couple of years ago - which she loves. (So does the staff!) I'll probably see if I can get her a few more nightgowns. She goes through 2-4 of them a day now with her incontinence issues, and they occasionally disappear for a few days if the staff screws up and puts them in the laundry. At $30 each, they're not cheap, but they're the only nightgowns she can wear. Maybe some new slipper socks.

What fabulous pictures you conjure up for me and GA? wonderful ideas and yes gardening is what we do indoor and out!

Jude, I'm so glad that you're enjoying these discussions. May I conjure up another image for you?

I used to work in downtown Detroit, sometimes taking the train, sometimes taking the bus. During the winter it was often dark when I arrived. But greeting me and the other bus riders was the site of the massive tree that had been brought in and placed in the center median of the primary north/south trunkline highway, right in the Central Business District (CBD).

In the dark, on those cold days, the tree was like a beacon, it's multi-colored strings of lights spreading light in all directions, providing a cheery image for arriving workers in those otherwise dark and sometimes cold and gloomy hours. I always enjoyed arriving downtown and seeing those lights, crossing the street and entering into the warmth of the skyscraper buildings where I worked. It was like a homecoming every time I went to work.

There are a few areas in SE Michigan that have special decorations. Since I can't post URLs with dot com in them, I'm P'M'ing them to you.

The Hines park lightfest is a notable one.

Oops - I just lost all the links in a PM. Will get to it later.

I got my mom three new tops. I go to a truly awesome discount store in Brooklyn that sells last year's Old Navy and Land's End tops for $3 to $ 5 each. These are wonderfully soft cotton and I think mom will love them. Still looking for a cardigan with pockets, though....

My mom doe not have dementia
She likes word search books as a way to pass time.
She also has a sweet tooth, no diabetes or weight issues - so a box of chocolates is fun for a daily treat well into January.....best thing is she does not mind if she gets the same thing from other people. I stay away from clothes - her closets have too many already

Enjoyed reading Garden's posts with CentralM. After a long day, I am remembering lovely English gardens! Here in Los Angeles I love the gardens at the Huntington Library. The rose garden, the camellias... the tearoom.