Husband was in terrible spinal cord accident. Paralyzed chest down. Was in facilities for 6 months, now home -6months. He has not shown any concern of the time my daughter or I spend on his care which is 24/7. (Bowel, catheter, lift, turning due to bed sore, low BP problems & more) He does not do anything to better himself. Even when we try to help him with the PT exercises. His mind isn't what it was but is still capable. He does not seem depressed. I am burnt out with all the care he need/wants.
Nevertheless, perhaps it's time for some tough love. Don't be available to do everything on command (except, of course, for the medically necessary things). Hire someone to help, too, because you won't be able to sustain this forever, and keep communication open. If you need to hear him say he appreciates you, TELL HIM. It'll help get him out of his own head.
Not being really aware of the fact that others have stuff going on in their lives is classic depression. He really should be in therapy as part of his recovery, because this is a lot to process on your own, even with a supportive family. In fact, a supportive family is a little too easy to take advantage of, so a therapist might help him get in a better place mentally.