Hi fellow caregivers. My first post here. I feel bad about constantly complaining to my husband so I thought maybe someone out here could relate to how I'm feeling. And maybe we could support each other? I would love a friend/pen pal...that would like to communicate their feelings/emotions about taking care of an aging parent. I am taking care of my elderly Mom. I love her to death but in all honesty, we are struggling! We were never particularly close before she needed assistance. But now she has moved in with me and I am doing my best to care for all of her needs. I have found myself getting more and more depressed. What do you do when you can't get along with your aging Mom? But you want to do the right thing?
I understand your feeling. I'm in year 4 of taking care of my Alzheimer's mother who is now in diapers. Sigh....
I have a lot of help the last couple of years, but the first two years were so bad because she was living with me, and let me tell you, it was like living in a mental institution with a crazy patient badgering you all day all night until you went mad. I had to move her out in order to save my sanity and my family (husband and 2 young kids.)
If your mother has the financial means, then do look into getting help at home, so that you can have breaks. Do the right thing as you say is to keep yourself from burning out, and getting depressed so that you can keep taking care of your mother.
Look around the forum, and read up on the thousands of threads on all sorts of caregiving related topics. Many of us come here to support one another and to VENT. So, feel free to join us.
Why do you not get along. Are there things you could compromise on. Do you "tell" her she needs to do this or that. Remember, you are the child. Parents don't like children telling them what to do. Skmetimes my girls talk to me like I don't have a brain in my head. At this point, I let it go because it doesn't happen often but when it comes more frequent, they will be told.
https://www.agingcare.com/topics/30/burnout