We are both in our mid-80s (84 & 85). My hsb. & I can afford a "few years"of Independent Living, as we are in an area of the country that is pretty reasonable to live in. But he already has a very weak memory as well as a weak body. I'm not so sure an independent living resident-home will allow him to be there after a few years; I don't know what to expect with his growing dementia; at this point, he can still handle most things on his own, but I handle everything other than personal care. His personality has changed quite a bit. After a few years, we will be out of money for independent living. Then, What if we live beyond 89? If he needs Memory Care, we will be out of money MUCH sooner. I have a severely damaged back & leg and will need at least help-at-home. If he needs be on Medicaid, I won't get enough for Independent Living, but my home will already be sold. Will I still be able to stay in Independent Living? If his moods and personal habits get worse, I don't want to stay in the same apartment as he is. How, on earth does one plan for anything at this age?
I have a friend in Missouri whose husband is already suffering from early dementia and who herself has a serious condition that can cause frequent strokes. They actually bought a small home on property in Arkansas and build a smaller home in back so that they could provide free rental for care assistance, shopping, transit to appointments, cleaning, some cooking and etc. And this has been in the long run less expensive overall.
I agree this is a serious problem coming to more and more of us with I suspect less and less help available for it. And at higher cost.
I went through making this decision last year with the guidance of a good elder law attorney. Much depends on which state you live in, and what your financial situation is.
In our case, we were strongly advised against CCRC's or any type of long term care that required a buy-in. The concept of a CCRC is Very appealing - but in many cases the reality turns out to be a major disappointment. A CCRC can legally demand that residents move out for a number of reasons - generally at a critical time when the resident needs a higher level of care (which was why the resident joined a CCRC in the first place!). Plus, if/when the level of service and care at the CCRC diminishes, the resident is basically financially locked in and can't move elsewhere without taking a major financial hit.
In our case, we selected a very good senior rental community that has independent living, assisted living, and memory care within its large campus. I believe we get all of the services/amenities of a CCRC with none of the drawbacks... My husband moved into a well appointed apartment in assisted living and I moved into a Very nice independent living apartment. That worked great. After 6 months we missed living together, so we moved into a large 2 bdrm/2 bath apartment together in assisted living. Since I require no assistance at all, we saved quite a bit of $$ making this move. We like knowing that we can give 30 days notice if we ever want to move out - with no penalties.
There are more senior communities these days offering all the services and amenities of a CCRC, and there's zero downside with this choice.
Best of luck.
These facilities will have Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care and usually Skilled Nursing.
You might actually want to skip past the Independent Living and start with Assisted Living. You can get the help you need but YOU can still be as independent as you wish to be. But you can get the help you need for him when it becomes more than you can manage. When it is no longer safe for him to remain in AL he can make the move to Memory Care. (or Skilled Nursing if that is needed) And you can still come and go as you wish knowing that he is safe and cared for.
If you just begin looking for AL look for one that also has MC and make sure that the facility will accept Medicaid. Not all accept Medicaid but the ones that do prefer a resident be "private pay" for a while before Medicaid.
https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=ccrc
If you are considering moving to a residential community with other elders, take a look at Assisted Living. You can still live as independently as you are able, but with assistance tailored to your needs. A CNA or Nurse may come in daily to help with your husband's needs, and yours.
If that is too costly an option, then hire In-Home Aids now and stay where you are. If your husband qualifies for Medicaid, you can stay in the home, as long as that is where you reside permanently. Your husband could be moved to a care facility while you remain in the home, and as long as you have spent down your assets, Medicaid will help pay for his care.
You can talk with a certified elder law attorney about separating your assets or protecting your assets, so that if hubby goes in to memory care, you can still have enough money to live on.
Nobody in AL "must" use caregivers if they don't need to. Just enjoy the meals, beautiful hotel-like setting, activities and access to people your own age.