My dad had a few strokes and cannot speak but fully cognizant. He has passed every test needed so I cannot get power of attorney over him. He keeps runaway saying he wants to live his own live. He doesn’t want to go to a home. Any suggestions?
If he is cognizant If he can function SAFELY on his own He should be able to live on his own. There are Senior apartments There are many devices that would allow him to contact emergency services if needed. The same systems could allow him to contact you if he needed to.
I think you should help him do this. Try for 6 months and see how he handles it. If he needs m ore help then there are ways to get more help. If he decides that he can't live on his own then he can return to living with you. But give him the ability to try.
Let him live his life. If he is fully cognizant he gets to choose for himself. But remember, you get to choose for yourself how much you will help him when/if the time comes and he wants or needs help.
He doesn't need a caregiver if his only problem is no speech, he can write what he needs to say.
Dad assigns you POA. It can be immediate meaning when Dad signs you can help him. No doctors needed to declare him incompetent. But its a tool not a power. Because he can't speak, you speak for him. If he can't write checks you write them for him. As long as he is competent, he can still make his own decisions.
Springing is a POA that is only in effect when a doctor or doctors declare Dad incompetent to make informed decisions. Talk to Dad about putting a Financial and Medical POA in place. It will insure that his wishes will be carried out. Otherwise, he has "tied your hands". He could have another stroke that could really debilitate him and if no one in the family has POAs, the State may step in and decide for him.
Is the problem that you are not able to care for Dad in the shape he is in? You say its your house in the Profile. Maybe have a sit down, tell him you get help in or he goes to an AL or LTC facility because you just can't do it.
Well, you don't 'get' power of attorney OVER someone--it's really FOR them. You sound like you want to run dad's life and he most assuredly doesn't want you to.
He's got to live somewhere. Offer to go look at a few places with him. Then HELP him move there and let him live his life.
Is he running away from you & your home? I'm assuming (perhaps incorrectly) that's what he's doing.
If he is fully cognizant then he'd able to make his own decisions. Your best bet would to support him. (Emotionally, not financially).
More than half the people on this site are trying to get their elders OUT of their homes--I don't fail to see the irony in this.
He is mentally capable of making his own decision, according to you. Therefore there is nothing TO be done. You can choose for yourself how much support you can give to your dad. My only caution is to be aware of the need not to enable him in dependency on him while you provide him with some support.
Do check with medical about supportive devices for your father's safety. I wish you both good luck but can offer little more on the basis of what information you gave us. A competent person is able to make his/her own decisions.
If he can function SAFELY on his own
He should be able to live on his own.
There are Senior apartments
There are many devices that would allow him to contact emergency services if needed. The same systems could allow him to contact you if he needed to.
I think you should help him do this.
Try for 6 months and see how he handles it.
If he needs m ore help then there are ways to get more help.
If he decides that he can't live on his own then he can return to living with you.
But give him the ability to try.
He doesn't need a caregiver if his only problem is no speech, he can write what he needs to say.
Springing is a POA that is only in effect when a doctor or doctors declare Dad incompetent to make informed decisions. Talk to Dad about putting a Financial and Medical POA in place. It will insure that his wishes will be carried out. Otherwise, he has "tied your hands". He could have another stroke that could really debilitate him and if no one in the family has POAs, the State may step in and decide for him.
Is the problem that you are not able to care for Dad in the shape he is in? You say its your house in the Profile. Maybe have a sit down, tell him you get help in or he goes to an AL or LTC facility because you just can't do it.
He's got to live somewhere. Offer to go look at a few places with him. Then HELP him move there and let him live his life.
Is he running away from you & your home? I'm assuming (perhaps incorrectly) that's what he's doing.
If he is fully cognizant then he'd able to make his own decisions. Your best bet would to support him. (Emotionally, not financially).
More than half the people on this site are trying to get their elders OUT of their homes--I don't fail to see the irony in this.
Therefore there is nothing TO be done.
You can choose for yourself how much support you can give to your dad. My only caution is to be aware of the need not to enable him in dependency on him while you provide him with some support.
Do check with medical about supportive devices for your father's safety.
I wish you both good luck but can offer little more on the basis of what information you gave us.
A competent person is able to make his/her own decisions.