I picked up my mom from her memory care facility last night to take her to dinner. I was a little late arriving, so the aides herded her into the dining room and sat her at a table, telling her they didn't think she was going out after all - one actually told her I had called to let them know this. When I arrived, they seemed surprised to see me. Mom has told me that when no one is around, they are quite verbally abusive to the residents.
Another resident had mistakenly taken my mother's walker back to her own room and one of the aides went to retrieve it. When she came back with it, my mother went to thank her and touched her shoulder. The girl batted my mother's hand away saying she thought my mother was going to touch her face and she "never allows anyone to touch her face." My mother told her that was not her intention and the aide said with quite a nasty tone "I know what you were going to do, so don't tell me you weren't." My eyebrows hit my hairline. As we turned to go, I remarked to my mother "Wow, if I had spoken to an elderly person like that when I was her age, you'd have slapped me flat." The aide followed us asking in a combative tone "what did you say?" I repeated what I had said and she began arguing with me. I simply told her she had spoken disrespectfully to my mother and it wasn't warranted and I hoped she didn't treat any of the other residents in a similar manner. I know these aides aren't paid well - they could make more at the local fast food joints, and there is a huge turnover, but they are working with old people who are sad and confused and they show them very little kindness or respect.
Now I'm worried that she will be even more hateful to my mother. I'd like to mention it to the facility director but that woman is totally ineffective and I doubt she will do anything about it. Any suggestions?