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I have two children who are grown. I am 80 and my eldest is 60. Neither of my children live in the same state as I do. I won't be moving. Neither will they. And I would never never ever want my children to do hands on care for me; this has been discussed. Therefore I have saved really all of my life long to be able to maintain independence. I would go into care at the point I need to.
It IS good to know that if I am unable to function mentally my children would have POA to turn my care over to a licensed fiduciary in term of managing my finances. But this can be done by you now if you see a Trust and Estate Attorney and discuss with that person how you move forward in an emergency. If you have a bank you can speak with your bank regarding whether or not they do act as a managing Fiduciary for bill paying and etc if you are unable. Licensed Fiduciaries are paid for their work; average about 90.00 an hour. In most cases need about an hour a month once everything is well set up.
The state takes over for most elders who end up in the hospital without family. Social Workers are assigned; guardianship of the State may be required if an elder has moved into dementia and there is no family.
No really good answers to the aging process, esp. in our country. Few good answers at all for the fact that it is pretty much all about one loss after another in our faculties, our mobility, control over our own lives. I am an old nurse so I kind of hope for an earlier and quicker demise. I am ready any time!!!!
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Live your life
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You make plans and create a virtual family. You get with an attorney to figure out your options. You consult an investment advisor to put your finances in order. You appoint a fiduciary to be your financial POA. (Could be the investment person.)You appoint someone to be your medical POA, then you make your medical wishes very clear to that person and in writing.

Get busy, as it's a bit of work, but you want to age with as little stress as possible about all this stuff.
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