Follow
Share

What do you do if person does not shower or wash and is going to visit people. She is going to a luncheon with people she has gone to lunch with once a year for years. She is refusing to have a shower. She gets nasty is you tell her she stinks. She has an appointment with doctor the day before and an appointment to get hair cut. What can we do so there is not a fight? I have tried to say I will be there when she has a shower but she refuses. She says she is too scared to shower. Help. The luncheon is next week. She is going on ferry and staying over night at son-in-laws place so she can go to lunch.

Find Care & Housing
Have her take a bath. Or do what they call a spit bath. take a basin of water and wash one limb at a time. With My female client, I would wash her hair, dry and comb. then I would start with her upper torso, one side at a time, then dressed upper torso. Legs and feet next and socks. Center torso Wash quickly. Finish dressing, then shoes. And accessories. Touch up the hair. Good luck
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Lizhappens
Report

Just a question, if they are scared of showers, why not a bath? My experience was Mom became like a child. Children do not like showers. I know my five yr old GSon doesn't. Mom was showered 3x a week by an aide but I washed her underarms every day.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Helpwithmil, how did you make out with the doctor and shower issue? Any updates? Did anything work? We all learn from each other and the showering issue is a huge problem for many of us.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to rocketjcat
Report
helpwithmil Dec 6, 2018
I will give an update on Saturday.
(1)
Report
Since she will be seeing her doctor, can you call the doctor in advance and warn them she’s no longer bathing and ask for their help in addressing it. Maybe the doctor can “order” her to bathe at least once/week for health reasons (elders sometimes believe an authority before the family). Or maybe they could give her a sponge bath while she’s there, “necessary to look for any skin issues.”
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to rocketjcat
Report

anxiety meds and a professional bathing aide are what you need.
get a bathing bench or bedside commode chair to go into the shower. If she is afraid that will help. Make her feel more secure.
Once you get it firmly established that there will be regular showers, she’ll get mad when the aide is late.
Dont let her in your car without her being clean.
You are in control.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to 97yroldmom
Report
helpwithmil Dec 6, 2018
she does have a bath chair and shower head.
(0)
Report
Hi. I just got there a few weeks ago. My mother had not changed her clothes or showered in over a week. I called the facility where she will eventually live and asked for an aide to come and bathe her. She was happy. My mom is mild to moderate dementia. Her drivers license was revoked in September. I could not force her to bathe. She used to daily until September and then stopped. She also used to sleep in her bedroom. That also stopped. I was concerned about her hygiene. I could not force her to bathe but knew the consequences if she wouldn’t. Uti’s. Etc. thankfully she is really content with getting an aide to bathe her, cut her toe nails and brush her teeth twice a week. Got to add i m no expert dementia, but this seeens to be a conduit to a further level of care and assistance for the caregiver.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Erinm60
Report
JoAnn29 Dec 6, 2018
In my state and the state my daughter works in, aides, LPNs and even RNs are not allowed to cut toenails. This is because of infection. Only a Podiatrist can cut them and Medicare pays for that to be done every 10 weeks.
(0)
Report
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter