What do you do if person does not shower or wash and is going to visit people. She is going to a luncheon with people she has gone to lunch with once a year for years. She is refusing to have a shower. She gets nasty is you tell her she stinks. She has an appointment with doctor the day before and an appointment to get hair cut. What can we do so there is not a fight? I have tried to say I will be there when she has a shower but she refuses. She says she is too scared to shower. Help. The luncheon is next week. She is going on ferry and staying over night at son-in-laws place so she can go to lunch.