Hi! I'm back. Again. I am so confused by my MIL. She is 95 years old.
My MIL with moderate dementia was falling a lot. We had her evaluated at a hospital. They did a lot of testing to see if they could find out why she is confused and falling. Found nothing. She was then transferred to rehab 8/18 to help with balance and stability. We had hoped to place her in assisted living, but I think she will have to go to a lockdown psych ward because of her violent behavior.
These are some of her care notes:
8/28 this nurse walked by resident's room and saw resident sitting up on the floor. No injuries noted, no c/o pain. Resident stated she didn't know where she was going. Resident pleasantly confused. Brought to nurses station to watch for safety.
8-29 Resident cut off wander guard with butter knife. New one placed on left ankle. Requested plastic wear from kitchen
9/1 Resident received shower this afternoon, resident very combative, hitting STNA's scratching, kicking, and putting nails into skin and breaking skin of STNA. Tried to redirect resident, resident tried to hit this nurse with walker. Out in common area for safety.
9/2 Unable to perform Covid test, resident tore test up
What do we do?
Why is she doing this? We asked her about kicking people and she denied doing it.
She was terribly uncooperative for us when living at home by herself. We tried to get her to wear a fall alert after she fell twice and seemed to have blacked out. She refused. We tried to get her to use a shower chair after she got stuck in the tub twice. She refused. We offered other alternatives for safer bathing. She was having none of it. She was very mad that we took away her car keys. Would call us asking for them back. Sometimes thought other people had borrowed her car. Her PCP told her if she did not cooperate more with those taking care of her, she would end up in a nursing home. She strongly shouted. "NO, No nursing home. I am staying in my house." I think she will be placed in a psyche ward.
She is incapable of living at home. I can't take care of her. And now she is behaving like a spoiled two year old prone to temper tantrums. She has always been EXTREMELY STRONG WILLED and as a child tried to see how much she could get away with.
Its no longer what Mom wants, its what she needs. If she has not seen a Neurologist, she needs to.
Agree with getting her seen by a Geriatric Psychiatrist.
Tearing up of COVID test, takes some nerve.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet online about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it. Lots of Do's and Don't tips for dealing with dementia sufferers are suggested in the booklet.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Educate yourself about what lies ahead as dementia progresses before you decide what steps to take. Knowledge is power.
Best of luck.
9/1 definitely no good. Was the STNA rough with her and/or showed her frustration?
She is probably bored and this is her way of having "fun"