She says I don't love her or I wouldn't leave her in that place. It's actually a very nice AL facility. I go see her every day. Missing a day here and there but I'm there most days. Should I visit less often? The employees say she screams and tries to hit them some nights. She refuses to stay in her room and wants to be outside. This is fine until its time for bed. That's when she gets irate and shows out. She lived with us for 7 years before we finally couldn't care for her properly/ She is 94. Doctors say she has very mild dementia if at all. Thanks so much for any help
She may circle around her tricks that may have worked for her before (yelling, acting out, you don't love me etc) to get what she wanted, or at least get empathy or attention - until she learns these tricks no longer work.
When you are not around, she will start to look at staff for attention instead & realise she is now dependant on them, which will hopefully mean she starts to connect better with them & adapt to this being home.
Maybe try visiting less? 2 or 3 visits a week not everyday? Experiment until it feels right.
It is a big adjustment for you both. Your days might have a big empty space too? Restart activities or hobbies you may have had to put aside or look for new ones to pep yourself up. Constant emotional pressure like that is exhausting & you will benefit from adding in something creative, social or fun.
That must be really hard. I am sorry you are going through that
Big Hug
It doesn't sound like 'mild dementia' if your mother is acting violent and biting the staff. If she continues acting out, I'd have the staff call 911 and get her to the ER for a psych evaluation if dementia is not going on with her. Assisted Living may not be the right placement for her, either, if her behavior cannot be reigned in. Psychiatric meds may calm her down. What does her doctor THINK is going on if not dementia??
Wishing you the best of luck with a tough situation.