What should I say to MIL that is upset and worried about her dead father. He father has been dead 30 years. She is trying to find him. She thinks he is lost. He has dementia and she says he does not know his way around. What do I do?
When mom and I went through that phase, she is now late stage dementia, there was a lot of interest redirect or going along with it.....it all depended on her anxiety level surrounding the issue. I made the mistake of trying to implement reason early on. This created unnecessary stress. Hope this helps and best wishes on your journey.
I tried that but it did not work well. She said he had dementia and did not know his way around. She finally snapped out of it and changed to where her grandsons were which is much easier to talk her about. It is hard to come up with something that will work but I was not sure if she would try to look for him. She did go look out the window for him. Thanks.
It's always best to just go along with whatever someone with dementia is saying, even if it makes no sense. Like MJ1929 said, just reassure her that he's fine, and not lost, and if needed you can use a "fiblet"(that's a term we use in my local caregivers support group)saying that he went out of town, but should be back in a few days. You'll figure it out, and honestly she probably won't remember what you tell her anyway.
Teepa Snow has a good video on loops. I entered “Teepa Snow and loops” on YouTube.
Best wishes to you.
He can be at work, the store -- wherever you want to say -- and he'll be back "later."
The key is to be vague on specifics of when he'll be back, and to reaffirm that you saw him again if it comes up again.