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My dad has dementia and shouldn’t drive. I took him to the Dr. They gave him a mini assessment and agreed. He told my dad not to drive and he said that was ridiculous and he had things to do. I have video taped the Dr telling him this and have a copy of the letter to the DMV that he should not have a license. I am waiting on them to revoke his license. I have taken the keys but the cars are still there. Every day he gets up and needs to go to the PO or the bank or recycle center and calls me to rant about me taking his keys. My mom is there and has a broken arm and she can’t drive either. It goes on for a couple hours and I quit answering the phone. This is wearing my mom out. She told me to tell him where they were as he was going to have a heart attack. I assured her he wasn’t.


I feel for him but there is no way he would be on the road. I have tried redirecting, telling him someone would take him, etc but he is furious and it happens every day.


thanks

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I'd make VERY certain there are no spare keys that he can get in his possession. Then, I'd discuss with mom what the story is going to be. I'd create something that sounds reasonable and that will keep him content. I'd keep it simple and just keep repeating it. He won't likely remember from day to day. He may still be upset, but, sometimes, that's just the way it has to be. But, I would MAKE SURE THAT HE HAS TRANSPORTATION to the places he needs to get to. Remove the need for him to drive, by arranging someone to pick him up.
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Mnielsen1357 Mar 2019
They do have transportation and we will take the cars soon. They are moving to an independent living facility in 2 weeks. It is the fact that he gets so upset every day that bothers me. I tell him he has given up driving but of course he doesn’t remember.
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If neither parent can drive right now, consider relocating the cars where your dad cannot see them and let your mother tell him they are being repaired and should be back in a week or so. Until then ??? and ??? will come by and chauffeur us where we need to go.
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The driving is a long term memory thing for old folks. I disabled my dads car just before he went into assisted living, told him AAA was coming to fix it and several other diverting fibs.

in assisted living he would go looking for his car four or five times a day. It took months for this to go away as his dementia worsened.

you just be have to ride it out, fib, Bob and weave, divert. It’s tough.
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