My brother put her in a small apartment, but he has gotten married and had a new baby and isn't checking on her. She has almost burnt the apartment down by forgetting she was cooking. She has crippling RA and needs more care. She came to see her doctor and took the bus to my apartment because hers is infested with bedbugs. She has been here for one day and I can't let her return to her apartment knowing that she needs me. She told me I could get paid to care for her. I don't want to get rich, but I can barley afford to take care of myself. I depend on public transportation or I would have been driving to see how she was. She's been calling me and telling me all of her issues and I feel so helpless. I want her to stay here. I do have a spare room, but it is upstairs and she can barley walk but there is a bathroom up there. She will need special stuff like a shower chair, a bed that she can adjust and a scooter to go to the doctor. Every place she needs to go is on the public bus line and scooters can ride too. I want to help her, but I know it is going to be a full-time job. I do have a part-time job and know that I can take care of her. She is on SSI and does get Medicaid. She only gets like $500 a month. She's been paying for her rent and all her utilities at her apartment. She will help pay her part of the bills if she comes here, but she has nothing. I don't know where to begin. Please help me. Jennette in NC

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Katiekate is right. Adult children of elderly parents don't get paid by anyone unless the parent can compensate them.

If you moved her in with you I think those stairs would be a problem. If you're willing to live with your mom can you combine households and move in together? Somewhere that doesn't have stairs to the bedroom and bathroom? Or can you move to the upstairs and let your mom have the downstairs?

But be very cautious about moving in with your mom. You will become your mom's life and lifeline. She will depend upon you for everything. And it will never get easier, only more and more difficult as time goes on. Would you be able to leave her alone while you go to work?

Have you considered an assisted living facility?

It's a big decision to make, I know. But you have the luxury right now of being able to consider options. Talk with your mom. See what she wants. Then consider everything and make your decision.
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The really hard part is going to be getting paid.

There really isn't much out there to pay you. The vast majority of caregivers are not paid at all. Those that get payment..usually get it from the elderly parent they are caring for.

There might be some financial help in won't be very much. Maybe a couple hours a week..maybe. NC is not a state that puts much into Medicaid (Medicaid is state run).

Are for becoming her care giver....that is easier...just move her into your apartment. BUT..being her caregiver is not easy. Read lots is a very tough row to hoe.
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