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I provided POA to the bank, advice to note her accounts to call me as POA first, but they still gave her funds she wanted. She would get rides from neighbors that do not know her issues and made me seem to be the bad person here. She is physically fit, so looking and talking to her, you would not know she has dementia as she knows how to fib really well. However, I don't want to take the money out of her name due to her getting seriously upset and can hurt herself. Not to mention the verbal abuse she lash out with. Called the bank and they stated, if they really know the person, they will give her the funds. I advised that she does not have ID or bank card to show as I have them in my possesion. Bank teller said she worked in a bank for 30yrs, and they do not need ID or bank card if they know that person. Does anyone know what else I can provide the bank institution other than the POA and noting accts without taking her name off of the accts? Any advice will help.

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There are a at least 2 things you could do that involve her Physician, since that POA stops nothing:

1. Bring Dementia diagnosis on Physician "letterhead" signed by her doctor, into the bank, carry it into the bank, physically meet with that branch manager, explaining the withdrawals problem.

2. While providing medical paper-work. Password protect that account.
Every time someone appears to withdraw, they must give that password, add a one line note within the account that states the reason for the password on that account. Add that password in person. visit that Bank often to enable staff to be familiarized with your face. So they visually associate more than your mother with that account.

OR
3. While providing medical paper-work, Close the account to move all funds into a different account at THAT branch (to avoid appearance of deception). Move funds into something similar to an old fashioned interest bearing CD or other bank product, that blocks withdrawals.



Why use the doctor to stay at that bank?? Your mother might be pretending to be a victim of exploitation abuse, telling the bank that you're stealing from her.

Is her diagnosis supported by MRI and/or CT scans? If not, Get her scanned and present copies of those scans with that physcian letter.

In my profession I've had clients with a parent pretending to have impaired memory. That parent's personality type pretends to forget things as part of the parent's lifelong abuse of whomever that parent is specifically faking Dementia symptoms.
That not-impaired parent fakes memory problems, for many reasons including to get their adult children to do things for them, and to exacerbate that adult child. It's bizarre, but happens more often than the most realize.
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ELHouston Aug 2020
Thank you so much Screennamed!!
This is exactly what I needed to know. You are correct in saying the fib to get people to believe them. She told a neighbor things that made them call adult services on me twice, local and state. Thank goodness they deal with this same situation everyday, and dropped the case. Unfortunately, I took her to get an MRI scan and while at the facility she refused, and they told me they could not make her get the MRI. I do believe all your saying is true. I will work on this as soon as possible. Thank you again.
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If your aunt has dementia severe enough that she is not capable of deciding who she wants or needs to pay, then you should have control of her account and she should have her own private spending account limited in funds. When I took over for my brother that is how we arranged it. He was diagnosed with early Lewy's and we were both afraid of what could/might happen with progression of the disease so we took care of it that way. I think that with advice of Lawyer you will be able to move most of her monies into a trust account you manage for her.
If you feel that handling this in this way will be too upsetting and if you fear your aunt will harm herself if this is done I honestly don't know your options. At some point someone will have to apply as conservator or as guardian before it's too late. Dementia leaves one prey to fraud; the money can go very fast, and I am not talking paying for rides here. Screennamed has some excellent advice below, as well, and moving your Aunts funds into a CD with no early withdrawal without your permission would help with this. I think you need to ask for a personal banker to give you advise within this institution, not the teller who likely knows very little. You could also use Aunt's funds for a one hour consult with an Elder Law attorney on how best to protect her as this dementia progresses. Remember, her conferring POA on you doesn't really mean that she can't make her own decisions and handle her own money unless there is a diagnosis of dementia that precludes such a thing.
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ELHouston Aug 2020
Thank you AlvaDeer, my Aunt's doctor did diagnose her with Dementia, and he referred us to a neurologist. The Neuro doctor was the one who diagnosed her with severe dementia, and both doctor's wrote in there diagnosis that she cannot drive, need 24/7 care, cannot cook or use appliance and cannot be financially responsible any longer. I want to try and keep their surroundings the same if possible and didn't want to change much so that her dementia would not escalate. However, I may not have much choice at this point.
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The bank isn't going to be able to help you with this unless you have legal guardianship over your aunt. Your power of attorney (POA) only gives you authority to act in her stead, not the ability to make her decisions. For many of us having a POA is all that we really need because our LO willingly lets us sign documents etc for them but the idea is we are doing what they would want. In your case you are trying to keep your aunt from doing what she wants. That exceeds the authority of the POA. Maybe you can talk her into a trust account - with her name on it an you as the trustee - where she maintains the bulk of her money with her current checking account having just a small personal allowance for her to have access to.
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ELHouston Aug 2020
Yes thank you. When my Aunt was of sound mind, she ask I be her POA and to take care of her when she is unable. She sign the POA and put my name to all her accounts. However, now that she has severe dementia, her personality has changed and struggling to keep her independence. She forgets that she's gone to the bank and withdrawl Xamonut of funds. So she want to go few times a week to withdrawl same amount each time. This cannot go on, so yes, maybe I am going against her wish being that she is not of sound mind, but it is for her sake that I do it. Thank you for advice with trust. That is very promising and will speak to the bank manager.
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