I am a 46 year old daughter with a mom who is 88 and has lived with me for over 20 years now. She was dx with Alzheimer's in 2009 and has been on medication since. We moved from Texas to Arizona in late 2010. She did well for about a year, but the past couple years she is going down hill fast.
We have been on different medications, some good some bad. But the last year, she has REFUSED to go to the doctor. Let me back up a second. Mom has numerous medical problems, heart, thyroid, diabetes, blindness, incontinence, partial paralysis and of course Alzheimer's. Mom has always been a con artist and manipulator. She was an extremely abusive parent and abused as a child. NONE of which she will admit too. Doctors suspect schizophrenia but has been unable to get a good test on her.
OK back to the present. She has become combative, demanding, confused, violent at times, her sleep patters are reversed, she is refusing to eat or go to doctors or let anyone help her. With that said what on earth do I do? Last night she was crawling in the hallway at 4am screaming for me. I got up and tried to help. Well she thought it was daytime and we had left her alone for days. I managed to get her to her room after much struggle. Im now the evil child who will not help her, feed her, not to mention ive taken all her clothes from her, and now im poisoning her. The family will not help me, because of her past behaviors with them. I am doing the best I can. I have a Life partner, not same sex, and he helps me everyday. But now we are facing her refusal to take medications, eat almost nothing, go to doctor appointments or have anyone come into the house.
I suffer from mental and physical disorders also. I take medication and attend several appointments a week. I am listed SMI under the state. My partner helps me during these times. I also have a 30 yr best friend that has moved across country to help me with her. I give all I can and so does everyone else.
I know its time for a NH, however we share a bank account and although I have no income or SSD yet, I have received a lot of help from my uncle over the past 3 years...probably upwards of 50k that has gone through the account. To top this off I sold all of my property 4 years ago and all the funds went through this account. Now her monthly account is only about 1500, so I can get her Medicaid based on her income but what about the bank account?
I cannot care for her any longer. what are my options?