My mother lived with me and my family for two years because my dad her x husband dropped her off at our house after his trailer was foreclosed and he lived in South Africa. I had asked for her to get senior care services and mental health help repeatedly and she refused We had to move from our rental as the landlord was selling the house. I had told her repeatedly I couldn’t care for her my daughter would cry and shake every time we returned home because of what was going my mother refused assisted living or any other care she only wanted me to do it all and so she had to move into an apartment when we moved and my grown children were also affected by her behavior and did not and do not have a relationship She is grieving over my dad’s recent passing and is accusing me of lying about the effects of her behavior and accuses us of bullying her and continues to blame any behavior on one uti not the course of time she spent with us. She is blaming me for her lack of relationship with everyone and accusing me of coercing her into loaning money for a vet visit for her grown grandson’s cat. I have taken her to a neurologist and she had testing and showed no evidence of dementia or Alzheimer’s. What do I do with this as I am the only person she has where we live and she lives alone without transportation I work, have a child with a learning disability and am very stretched I don’t know what to do with this
If she has had a lifelong difficult personality and is mentally competent, I don’t know what you can realistically do other than help when it works for you and your family and keep good boundaries.
She's been abusive, she is abusive and always will be abusive. You're not responsible for the bad turns her life has taken. You did your best to help and she doesn't appreciate it. She has no transportation - but if you stopped providing it, she'd figure it out on her own. She has no friends or relatives - and whose fault is that? Her own.
You have enough going on in your life without the mess she creates. Devote your life to your child, your job and to yourself. I'm sorry you're caught up in this, but once you block your phones, stop being responsible for her needs, and call it quits, it's over. I wish you luck in getting through this!